We really had to put up with a lot of crazy bullshit in the 1980s. Video games were just blips and bleeps, Kiss took off their make-up, people wore parachute pants and headbands, some lunatic mashed a guitar and a keyboard together, Tom Cruise was in every movie, and cassettes were considered space-age media technology.
But that’s not even the worst part. The worst part of the 80s was Canada’s phony metal conspiracy. Sure, on paper, the Great White North was awash in metal maniacs. Flying V guitars and cases of hairspray were being imported from the US by the truckloads. Hairy homegrown heroes sprouted up from Vancouver to Toronto, and Canada even boasted its very own metal magazine, the cleverly named Metallion. But it was all a ruse.
