With the 2023 NFL season’s schedules officially out in the world, it’s time to look at the primetime games.
There are plenty of exciting matchups in store, including a Super Bowl 57 rematch between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Philadelphia Eagles in November.
While there are plenty of primetime games to get excited about, some of these games are the absolute pits.
We’ve looked at five of the least-spectacular primetime games in store for us this fall, games that would be wise to sit out unless you’re a big fan of one of these teams.
Spoiler alert: Detroit Lions fans might want to look away.
Week 1: Kansas City Chiefs vs. Detroit Lions, NFL Kickoff Game
The Kansas City Chiefs make perfect sense as one of the first teams we’ll see in the 2023 NFL season. They won a Super Bowl, and they have the game’s best player in quarterback Patrick Mahomes. That’s totally fine.
To pit them against the Detroit Lions feels like a cruel joke, even if the Lions are one of the favored underdogs this season. Where is the drama or intrigue in this game?
We get that some folks feel like Detroit might actually be good this season, but how does this game not end in Mahomes carving up Detroit’s work-in-progress secondary? It’d have been much more enjoyable to put a proven commodity against Kansas City to start the season. Picking the Lions just feels like a decision influenced by things that haven’t happened yet.
Week 3: Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Las Vegas Raiders, Sunday Night Football
Be warned: two of the Week 3 primetime games are really bad.
The Pittsburgh Steelers were a middling football team last year, as were the Las Vegas Raiders. A quarterback duel between Kenny Pickett and Jimmy Garoppolo doesn’t exactly scream primetime, but that’s what we’ll get for the Sunday night game that week.
This game sounds really boring on paper, pitting two teams that have question marks on both sides of the ball in a game that really could be as low scoring as you’d imagine.
We don’t know who will lose this game, but it feels like most of the audience will have to put an “L in the column that week.
Week 3: Philadelphia Eagles vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Monday Night Football
Okay, did the scheduling committee put this one in primetime as some sort of weird punishment for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers?
The Tom Brady-less Bucs might be closer to the top pick in the 2024 NFL Draft than the playoffs this fall, and putting them against the Philadelphia Eagles on Monday Night Football just feels harsh.
This game looks like it could be a blowout and a waste of time for anyone who isn’t a fan of the Eagles. Why did they put this in primetime?
Week 8: Buffalo Bills vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Thursday Night Football
Okay, what did we just say about scheduling the Buccaneers against elite competition in primetime?
The Buffalo Bills are another team that could dominate this Bucs team, and it really might not be pretty for the folks at home to watch Tampa Bay yet again get throttled by a Super Bowl contender.
Look, if this is the price they must pay for years of Brady, then we’re guessing they’ll take it. However, this game feels like an easy midseason skip for non-Bills fans.
Week 11: Minnesota Vikings vs. Denver Broncos, Sunday Night Football
Okay, NFL schedulers, let’s talk. We thought the whole “putting Russell Wilson’s Denver Broncos” in primetime thing was past us after last year.
Apparently not, as Week 11’s Sunday Night Football game will pit Wilson’s Broncos against the Minnesota Vikings in a game of who could care less.
Even if Sean Payton is the one coaching the Broncos this year, the schedulers are betting on a massive improvement from Denver for this game to be any good. Plus, the Vikings got a bit exposed in the playoffs last year and could be the victims of regression this season.
This game might entice these two fan bases, but it’s leaving the rest of us in the cold.