The Great British Bake Off has an uncanny knack for knowing the best time to arrive each year. Just when it seems like the entire world is about to topple off its axis into a pit of unimaginable despair, the Bake Off pops up with a weaponised dose of loveliness. And, 10 days from now – just when we need it most – it will happen again.
As usual, Channel 4 has telegraphed the arrival of The Great British Bake Off with a new set of contestant biographies. And, as usual, I am using this information alone to rank the contestants from worst to best. Have I met any of these people? No. Have I seen them cook? No. Is that going to stop me from making a series of ludicrous judgments about them, that will inevitably come back and haunt me on social media when everyone realises I got it wrong? Again, no. Here are the 2022 Great British Bake Off contestants, ranked in reverse order of perceived success.
