Get all your news in one place.
100's of premium titles.
One app.
Start reading
The Independent UK
The Independent UK
Sport
Richard Jolly

The 10 (not entirely serious…) right-back options Thomas Tuchel should consider

They may be more of an infamous five than a famous five. Reece James, Jarell Quansah, Djed Spence, Declan Rice and Ezri Konsa are the quintet to play at right-back in this World Cup for England.

Four games, five right-backs, perhaps only one of them with a genuinely preferred position of right-back...

And given that Tino Livramento was in the original squad and Ben White might have been but for injury, there could have been still others.

But if Thomas Tuchel needs a sixth right-back of the World Cup for the upcoming trip to Mexico’s Azteca Stadium, who should he choose?

Allow me to present the options...

(In no particular order)

Harry Kane: Anything England ask of him, the captain obliges.

Dan Burn: Technically not a right-back, but largely unoccupied during the matches before he reverts to bringing the vibes to the England camp.

Aaron Wan-Bissaka: England-born right-back who has played well in an England game in this World Cup. Democratic Republic of Congo international.

Matty Cash: England-born Europa League-winning right-back, and more recently than Spence. Poland international.

Sir Alf Ramsey: Former England right-back (and World Cup-winning manager, eh Thomas...) who has proven he can irritate Mexicans during a World Cup, largely by trying to import industrial quantities of tinned and canned British food in 1970.

Sir Alf Ramsey could be the answer England need (Getty)
Sir Alf Ramsey could be the answer England need (Getty)

Philipp Lahm: World Cup-winning captain who was deemed one of the world’s best right-backs for a decade. Would be perfect were he not retired. And German.

Bob Crompton: One of England’s finest right-backs, admired for his professionalism and consistent excellence. The ideal solution, had he not died 85 years ago.

Keir Starmer: Veteran full-back who has been criticised for paying insufficient attention to defence but who will soon have plenty more time to concentrate on football.

Keir Starmer is looking for a new job... (Getty Images)
Keir Starmer is looking for a new job... (Getty Images)

Kemi Badenoch: Operates some way to the right of Starmer and thinks she can do a better job than him.

Trent Alexander-Arnold: Don’t be ridiculous.

So there we have it. Plenty of good options available, Mr Tuchel.

Sign up to read this article
Read news from 100's of titles, curated specifically for you.
Already a member? Sign in here
Related Stories
Top stories on inkl right now
One subscription that gives you access to news from hundreds of sites
Already a member? Sign in here
Our Picks
Fourteen days free
Download the app
One app. One membership.
100+ trusted global sources.