Joey Barton turned to Paul Coutts, two men who know how this sort of thing usually goes down, looked at 20-year-old James Connolly and said, “from our experience, lad, it’s going to be a long couple of days.”
As pandemonium erupted at the Mem, fans teeming onto the field to hoist their heroes into the air following a truly insane 7-0 victory over Scunthorpe United to seal promotion to League One, the party gradually swelled in the bowels of the West Stand.
As the players gradually made their way off the field, having been hugged, kissed, praised, patted and every physical exchange in between by strangers possible more times than in their entire existence, each one arrived inside the dressing room like turning up to the greatest house party of their young lives.
Trays of Thatchers Gold were on a constant drip feed into the room with a bold “home” marked on the front as assistant coach Kevin Bond and captain Paul Coutts clutched hefty magnums of champagne before that erupted over the growing crowd of players delirious with success and what they had just been part of.
Antony Evans, arguably Rovers’ best player on the day, was among the last to arrive. The door locked to the outside world as the Scouser screamed, “how can I be missing this?” Unable to get away from his fanclub on the field after two brilliant goals, including a trademark free-kick, he had borne witness to perhaps the greatest sales pitch possible with the midfielder out of contract next month.
True to his problem-solving and decision-making on the field as his frantic bangs on the door were of no avail - with the bass inside resonating around the walls - he quickly sprinted around the side to the back entrance, where thankfully the door had been left unlocked.
Luca Hoole then bounded in, all smiles but also bewilderment. The 19-year-old is experiencing his first season in professional football, enjoying a fantastic breakthrough campaign at right-back.
As Joey Barton noted later on, “I told the lads, this isn’t normal; this doesn’t happen every season". The manager was also insisting the liquid inside his plastic cup was apple juice, despite it bearing a deeply beige hue and smelling suspiciously like champagne.
Hoole, as an academy product who has risen through the ranks, wanted to savour those moments with fans that little bit longer. Albeit he didn’t have much of a choice either as he repeatedly said, while laughing, “I couldn’t get away!”
President Wael Al-Qadi was atop the shoulders of another homegrown player in Alfie Kilgour as the dressing room drank, sang, and were drenched in various alcoholic liquids with SkyBet patiently trying to place a promotion sign for a photo opportunity that was chaotic to say the least.
Familiar songs that had soundtracked this remarkable rise up the league played in the background: McFadden & Whitehead’s ‘Ain’t No Stoppin’ Us Now’, while various versions of Fatboy Slim’s ‘Praise You’ were on constant rotation. It was the easiest DJ gig in the world, whoever was manning it.
In between the gaps in songs, the air was filled with screams, chants of ‘we are going up’ and ‘Goodnight Irene’. A sure-fire sign of the undeniable emotional link now between these players and this football club, whatever happens from here.
The party then spilled out into the tunnel, with families making their way down from the stands. Rovers had received 220 requests for tickets from players with mums, dads, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, sons, daughters, nieces and nephews stationed all around the ground.
The touching moment on the Mem pitch as a tearful Aaron Collins embraced his parents and friends just by the dugout was then replicated outside the dressing room as stewards tried to find a way to accommodate everybody. The physio room proved a respite for the Whelan family, while others headed up to the executive boxes.
The absolute ball of energy that is Andy Mangan accosted Harry Anderson’s parents. “He’s not a man, he’s a rhino; these aren’t feet, these are hooves, he doesn’t need to wear footy boots” he proclaimed, giggling away. “What a man your son is. What a man.” You can only imagine the pride in their eyes.
Mangan was a proud man too. So often the one in the background alongside Barton, a former colleague and a close friend, often providing emotional support to his pal, while doing a lot of the dirty work on the training ground and being that link between dressing room and staff.
As he and Barton walked onto the pitch just before kick-off, with the Thatchers terrace in full voice, the two shared a moment, embracing with a reassuring look of, this is where we’re at.
Where Mangan will be going next is the Champions League final in Paris. Had Rovers been left with the play-offs, the die-hard Red would have been denied a trip to France to see his beloved Liverpool against Real Madrid as the final fell on the same weekend. “Champions League and FA Cup final, here I come” he screamed.
That was to anyone in earshot including England and Bath rugby star Danny Cipriani who stood clad in black sipping a bottle of beer just outside the dressing room door. Not a Rovers fan (we did ask) but a friend of Barton’s through Steve Black, a man who’s legacy was all over this team’s resurgence and the methods the manager deployed. “A cheat code”, Barton later commented, mentally looking up to the heavens as he said it.
A shirtless Ryan Loft, meanwhile, was casually chatting to former Scunthorpe colleagues with an almost guilty look on his face, having exited Glanford Park in January before the true horrors of this season had enveloped that club.
James Belshaw was then wandering around, not quite sure to do with himself, almost manically uttering, “Footbal, footnball, I love football. Football is great” to anyone he passed, beaming that smile everybody now knows and loves. Later on the goalkeeper would tease Coutts with an individual trophy that presumably is the Player of the Year award, “just off to give this a little shine” he turned to his captain.
Collins and Connolly, meanwhile, gave the midfielder several playful shoves as he spoke to media. "This is my captain, this is my captain" they hollered with immense affection. Coutts, a pretty lowkey kind of character, grinned sheepishly but appreciatively before delivering a uniquely Scottish set of verbals that, around his parts, are genuine terms of endearment.
It was perhaps Mangan who said it best, players had returned to the pitch to salute the fans in a more organised manner; Barton joined by his son Cas, but as they filtered back to the dressing room for one last gathering together before the carnage of the night that lay ahead, with talk of Pam Pams at 10pm very much on the agenda - albeit with Collins and Connolly deciding for something a little more visceral down Gloucester Road - the coach patted every single one of them on the head, shut the door and declared, “this is theirs”.
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