Terry Crews has spoken candidly about how his pornography addiction impacted his relationship with his wife, Rebecca King, and their children.
The 54-year-old actor opened up about his porn addiction during Monday’s episode of Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert podcast. Crews and King, who have been married since 1989, are the parents to four children: Azriel, Tera, Wynfrey, and Isaiah. Crews also adopted King’s daughter, Naomi, who the singer welcomed during a previous relationship.
Speaking to Shepard, Crews recalled keeping it a “secret” that he was watching porn as frequently as he was, and admitted that he would “straight out” lie about watching porn to his wife. He also recalled how “guilty” he felt around his wife as a result of the addiction.
“So I was walking around a human pile of guilt. And so my wife was like: ‘Where were you?’” he recalled. “I’d be like: ‘Why are you always checking where I am?...I mean, what are you scared?’ So I’d start arguing so she wouldn’t ask more questions. Poor woman.”
The Brooklyn Nine-Nine star went on to describe how his children were impacted by his behaviour. “It was horrible,” he said. “My kids, I would be angry at them for getting in the way.”
During the interview, the actor recalled: “A lot of time in the hotels alone, I would be on the porn channel and then I would feel super guilty and then I would read a bunch of self help. Like ‘Okay, let me get back to even here’ because I felt bad about myself all the time. I am a failure.”
Crews also revealed that he “justified” his addiction because he “didn’t mess up with another woman”. He also described how people responded to his addiction at the time, recalling: “I was told: ‘Man, you can’t be addicted to porn, man. It’s just natural. It’s just who you are. It’s no big deal. Your wife’s got to understand that, that you’re just a man.’”
However, he said that he then thought of a scenario when he wanted to provide for his partner, which made him realise why King wouldn’t be happy about him watching pornography.
“And I thought about something like, imagine if your wife was getting money from another guy and you found out, you’d be like: ‘Hey honey, why are you getting money from,’” he explained. “And you’d be like: ‘Hey, but I am here for that.’ But see, that’s what your woman feels. It’s like: ‘Wait, wait sex, I’m here for that.’”
While speaking to Shepard, Crews confessed that he did end up cheating on his wife. He said that the incident occurred when he “went to a massage parlor in Vancouver” during a point when he was “on a binge”. At the time, he was also filming his first-ever movie, The 6th Day.
“I cheated on my wife. I was that dude,” he said. “Like, who officially stepped outside and I had never done that before. I kept that secret for years.”
He described his wife’s reaction when he told her about the situation, 10 years after it happened.
Crews said that, although his partner ended up leaving him after he made the confession in 2010, they later got back together when he entered a rehabilitation facility for his porn addiction.
This isn’t the first time that Crews has opened up about how his porn addiction impacted his marriage. During an appearance on The Diary Of A CEO podcast last year, he confessed how he once thought that his relationship would help him with his addiction.
“I got married in 1989 to the most beautiful woman on earth. I thought that once I got married, the porn would go away. I don’t need to tell her about anything. It was a phase. I’m going to be out of it; it’s going to be great,” he said.
He went on to explain that after his wife had left him after hearing his cheating confession, he went to therapy and was then able to work things out with King.
“It was no different than any other thing that would numb you, be it drugs, be it alcohol,” he said. “The 12 steps works for a lot of different addictions.”
