A terminally ill mother-of-three has shared her experience of receiving cruel abuse from strangers online who have accused her of looking “too good” to be suffering.
On 10 May 2021, Jemma McGowan was told she had just one year to live after being diagnosed with advanced stage 4 ovarian cancer on 9 February the same year.
The harrowing diagnosis came just weeks after the birth of her third child, Betty.
Since then she has been documenting her battle with cancer on Instagram, which has opened her up to a torrent of abusive messages from users who claim she is “faking” her illness.
The 27-year-old, from Omagh in Northern Ireland, says the abuse doesn’t get to her. Instead, Jemma is focussing on finding ways to prolong her life with her family of five.
Jemma, who has two more children - Sadie, 5, and Louis, two - said in a recent Instagram post: “I want 20 years. I don’t ask to be a granny I just beg to be their mummy.”
Speaking of her online abuse, she told The Mirror: “I get sent at least one nasty comment per week on social media.
“I regularly get told that I’m faking having cancer. And there’s someone else who keeps telling me that I don’t have terminal cancer as I look too good to be ill.
“I don’t really get upset or let it get to me as what they’re saying isn’t true. Strangers don’t know what they’re talking about. I feel like writing back ‘what more proof do you want? Do you want my blood? If I could give it to you I would!’”
Jemma was first diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2016 at 22 years old while pregnant with her second child with her husband Clive, 40, who she married in 2018.
She had the stage one cancer removed surgically when she was 17 weeks pregnant.
According to her GoFundMe page - set up to to help fund treatments - Jemma was told it was a very rare cancer, low grade, and not known to spread or become aggressive.
She had her left ovary, fallopian tube and the basaloid carcinoma brenners tumour removed.
“We never looked behind us,” she said. “Sadie was born in December 2016 and I was very healthy and happy with no symptoms of cancer and all clear with bloods results and scans since. I went on to get married to my amazing husband Clive, and we had another little baby (Louis).”
Despite experiencing pain in her lower back and pelvis over the course of her second pregnancy, Jemma was assured that she had “nothing to worry about.” She gave birth to Louis in November 2020.
But 35 weeks into her third pregnancy, on 9 February 2021, Jemma found a lump.
She continued: “I visited my midwife who red flagged me to my consultant who rushed me for a MRI.
“It was agreed that I should get booked in early and for a planned procedure instead of waiting for a natural birth due to the placement of the lump.
“Betty was then delivered by C-Section and the growth removed for Biopsy on the 25th January 2021.”
Jemma said her cancer is “acting very unusually and aggressively”, in ways which have not been documented in medical journals. She has described her treatment as a process of “trial and error”, which she said she is “really struggling to accept.”
She has received three rounds of two different types of “very intense” chemotherapy in Belfast.
“The three rounds of chemo have been physically, mentally and emotionally the toughest 12 weeks of my life to date,” she wrote.
“I have got up every morning and with the help of my family around me, have got my little girl to school and looked after my other 2 babies.
“They have been my life line as I battled through each round of chemo with them in the front of my mind keeping me fighting.”
But in May 2021, a team of oncologists found three new tumours growing in Jemma’s body.
They explained that, as the chemo wasn’t working, they wouldn’t be able to continue with her treatment.
Jemma was advised her to “get her affairs” in order, giving her a prognosis of just 3-15 months to live.
Posting just three days ago, almost one year on from her prognosis, Jemma said she “can’t help but think about what I have got to loose.”
In the caption, she wrote: “I’m in so much pain. I am weak. I am exhausted. Everything is so hard. Pushing myself to be enough is painful physically and emotionally. I try so hard to be normal mummy, wife, friend etc
“I’m very rarely in this mindset but as I lay here tonight with uncontrollable tears rolling down my face I can’t help but think about what I have got to loose.How if or when the worst happens … how will my babies take it?
“I’m laying here thinking is it best to die sooner so they won’t remember me at all… or is it better to die later so they have some memories of mummy in their lives. Either way the trauma and emotional battle they will have to face someday is unbearable.
“I don’t want to be the reason for their heart ache. I want 20 years. I don’t ask to be a granny I just beg to be their mummy.”
In her fight to live, Jemma has been researching alternative and holistic treatments for her cancer.
Among her discoveries was a clinic in Mexico that offers alternative therapies.
She flew out to Mexico with her husband, Clive, in June 2020, where she was put on a programme of natural supplements.
Jemma receives medication from Mexico every six months and from London every eight weeks, which she said costs her around £2,500 every month.
“Fundraising is quite literally a lifeline,” she said.
The 27-year-old is also following a strict diet - cutting out sugar, white carbs, cow’s dairy and meat.
Determined not to let the dire predictions of her illness get the better of her, Jemma continues to look forward and make plans far into the future.
Writing on Instagram earlier this month, Jemma said: “Almost one year... Almost...the prognosis date is approaching…I’m anxious yes I will admit. Everything after this date is a bonus in the eyes of stage 4 terminal cancer.
“I’ve been making so many plans. So many generous offers for nights away weekends away etc to make memories. A year ago I would have turned these down. This past few weeks Iv found myself accepting them all.
“We have plans every month from now to September to do something as a family and make loads of memories together - I’m so excited for the spring and summer we have planned so far.“It’s pretty incredible for me even to be planning months ahead…I never thought I would get to this mindset…”
To find out more about Jemma’s journey with cancer and donate to her treatment fund, click here.
