According to reports, weight loss jags can now boost protection against cancer. Sounds like a fabulous 2-for-1 offer, eh? Not when you’re my size, thanks very much. One jag with a needle and I’d be flying about the room like a burst balloon.
I wasn’t always this size – nope, I used to be 8lbs 6oz – and, mainly because all the Indian restaurants were closed, I actually lost a bit of beef during the pandemic. So, no sudden explosion when I got my Covid jags. One of my pals exploded at the mere THOUGHT of a Covid jag.
A founder member of the anti-vax brigade, I still recall his rant when he was starting a new job at the tail end of lockdown. “I won’t be wearing a mask!” he roared. “Nobody tells me what to do! I won’t be wearing a mask!” Halfway through his first shift, he was rushed by ambulance to the ICU at Wishaw General Hospital. When I went to visit him at night, all I could say was: “You know what, mate, I don’t think you were cut out to be a welder…”
