OLYMPIC cyclist Sir Chris Hoy has been trolled on social media by people who mistake him for Tory MSP Craig Hoy. And the same thing used to happen with English Premier League referee Chris Foy.
I know how you feel, big man. Thanks to sharing the same initials – coupled with the fact we could pass for twins – folk often confuse me with Tom Cruise… Who am I kidding? The only celebrity I bear an uncanny resemblance to? Chubby darts champ Stephen Bunting.
Chatting to my wife last week about Robbie Coltrane’s ashes being scattered at the legendary Katz’s Deli in New York (the big man loved their pastrami and his photo is up on the wall next to Frank Sinatra), I asked the current Mrs Cowan where my ashes should be scattered.
“I don’t know,” she grunted, “but it’s probably a job for a gritter lorry…” Can’t argue with that. My scattered remains will look like a feckin’ BING!
To be honest, though, I’d happily drop my knife and fork tomorrow if I knew my ashes would be liberally sprinkled on the set of Dancing On Ice. I bet even Greta Thunberg loves the idea of global warming when she watches that guff.
The BBC has commissioned a new reality show Clear The Floor and it’s described as “Strictly for non-celebs”. Hang on, isn’t that just Strictly?
Former dance show judge Bruno Tonioli is replacing David Walliams on Britain’s Got Talent. So I’m guessing the production meeting went something like this… “Right, guys, can you think of someone whose face you’d like to slap even HARDER…?”
Over on Channel 4, notorious WAG Rebekah Vardy is making a documentary about Jehovah’s Witnesses. So it would appear being famous doesn’t ALWAYS open doors for you… The big media story of the week? Veteran Scottish DJ Ken Bruce is quitting the BBC after 41 years. So can I take this opportunity to congratulate Alex Scott on her new Radio 2 show.
And many happy returns to BBC Breakfast which celebrated its 40th birthday this week with a packed sofa of presenters past and present.
“Wow! 40 years! Who’d have predicted that?” said astrologer Russell Grant.
Original host Frank Bough is no longer with us – it’s now three years since he went to that big Ann Summers shop in the sky – and there was no sign of the programme’s first sports reporter David Icke. Probably because he thought the studio – just like the rest of the world – was destroyed by hurricanes, floods and earthquakes in 1997… Tell you what, folks, armageddon won’t be any noisier than the sound effects on Match Of The Day.
A porn movie prank with a mobile phone (no jokes about strange ringtones, please) meant Gary Lineker could barely be heard over orgasmic yelps, screams and groans.
I haven’t heard anything like it in a BBC studio since the last time Kenny MacIntyre interviewed Barry Ferguson.
Talking of my football buddies at the Beeb, congrats to my dear chum Jonathan Sutherland and his lovely wife Siobhan on the birth of their beautiful baby boy. The wee man weighs 6lb 5oz. Although the camera probably adds a few pounds when he’s on Sportscene…
Good luck to my plumber pal Ian from Kilmarnock who has just started a new business manufacturing over-sized sinks and baths.
He asked if I could give him a massive plug.
Ian was gutted to hear about Ken Bruce as he once got to the final of the famous PopMaster quiz.
The subject of his three-in-ten was Meat Loaf and Ian says: “I got Bat Out Of Hell and You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth but I couldn’t think of another one. Still, two out of three ain’t bad…”
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