Kayden Kross, an adult film entrepreneur and a former business partner of mine, sent me a text message a few months ago. She was excited—she was seeing a community of straight dudes gather on Deeper, the power exchange and BDSM-themed website she owns, to discuss their sexual preferences, turn-ons, and other various tastes. And she was seeing this across other platforms too. This felt rare to her, and groundbreaking to me.
When I asked Lucie Fielding, a mental health counselor in Washington state, how many spaces she was aware of for straight men to have these conversations, she said "Oh, not many—unless we're talking incels—there's got to be stuff on Reddit, but apart from that, these are such important forums. Because there's such a societal pressure for men not to be talking with one another about these things." But on platforms like Deeper, PornHub, and other online providers of adult videos, the comments section is just that sort of conversation.
