Warning: DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED EPISODE 5 OF SURVIVOR 44.
Ready?
Ok.
Welcome to Survivor Vibe Check! Each Thursday this season, Blake Schuster and Bryan Kalbrosky will chat about last night’s episode to see who is thriving and who is straight up not having a good time on the islands of Fiji. Season 44 has had plenty of highs and lows, but Wednesday’s episode 5 left many wondering where the game is headed.
Blake: Ok, Bryan. What the hell did we just watch?
Bryan: That’s like asking me to summarize an avant-garde film produced in a language I do not speak. Nearly everything about this week was strange, and you could tell that we were starting to lose the plot when there were five minutes left in the episode and they hadn’t even started tribal council. I’m so sorry to Matthew, though. It’s amazing he powered through as long as he did.
Blake: I wonder if Matthew gets a second chance. I feel like we’ve talked about it for weeks now, but there was just no way he’d be able to compete in individual challenges the way his arm was. Which leads me to my next point: Did the producers tell him they were about to merge but didn’t want to reveal it? That’s the only reason I can think of for not showing him getting taken out. I’m just absolutely baffled by the edit — which is something we typically don’t really focus on until the final five or six.
Bryan: That honestly makes a ton of sense. “Hey, Matthew. It’s cool that you’re here now because you can sit out challenges for your tribes. But we’re about to start individual challenges and uhhh your shoulder seems like it hurts a lot.” That conversation was probably about as awkward as the one that Jeff had with the Tika tribe after he arrived on the boat. The way that he explained what happened was like he was speaking in riddles.
Blake: This season has felt insulting on quite a few levels. Insulting to such a great, charismatic cast, to the game itself by making this season all about fake idols and to the viewers at home who can so clearly see the producers scrambling to make a 26-day game viable. You nailed it by saying they’ve lost the plot. Can they get it back post-merge?
Bryan: I sure hope they can, Blake. Fortunately, we do have some very interesting castaways still remaining heading into the merge and I think we’ve got some compelling television in front of us. I’m not sure how all three members of the Tika tribe are still left, though, and (I hope I’m wrong but) it will almost feel like Lil making it to Final Tribal on Pearl Islands after so narrowly escaping elimination last night.
Blake: As far as actual gameplay goes, I thought Josh immediately trying to establish a relationship with Yam Yam was the right move and I would’ve loved to see them try to take out Carolyn. The dynamic between the three of them feels very Game of Thrones-ish.
Bryan: If you had to bet it all, who was going home?
Blake: Carolyn. And I don’t think she even had a clue.
Bryan: Wow. You don’t think she would have played her idol? If that happened, it would have been pretty awful for the show to have another woman (and one of the more interesting castaways in a while) voted off there.
Blake: I think it was either Josh or Carolyn (remember last week when we thought Yam Yam was on the bottom? He actually ended up as the swing vote) and I just don’t think Carolyn did enough to repair her relationship with Yam Yam. The conspiratorial part of me thinks the producers didn’t want to see either go home after losing the immunity challenge so they gave Matthew a reason to exit and forced a merge.
Bryan: I don’t think that’s an unfair conspiracy!
Who's absolutely thriving?
- Carson has made himself the most valuable player in the game with his social play. Let’s hope it doesn’t come back to haunt him
- Carolyn during the snack reward/her confessional after was pure cinema.
- I’d love to do morning meditation with the Soka tribe
- Danny and Brandon bro-ing down
Kane seems like a different degree of nerd than Carson.
Kane’s the kind of nerd who plays tabletop war games.
Carson’s the kind of nerd who’s seen all the Marvel movies. #survivor
— Stephen Fishbach (@stephenfishbach) March 30, 2023
Who's straight up not having a good time?
- Matthew, man. I’m sorry. You’re a warrior for staying out there that long
- Heidi and Lauren will get some screen time eventually, right?
- Carolyn, while Danny and Brandon were bro-ing down
This is far and away my favorite scene of #Survivor44:
-Carolyn just letting fruit fall out of her mouth in indignation
-The Achilles tattoo
-Brandon's flat-out insult to Carolyn's face
-And a classic Carolyn confessional as the piece de resistance pic.twitter.com/58FtGxGjyK— Mike Bloom (@AMikeBloomType) March 30, 2023
