Pack your compression socks, we're heading to Norway!
The Roy kids, bundled up in layers of stealth wealth and existential angst, jet over to GoJo's annual retreat in a bid to get this seismic Waystar deal over the line.
But there's a Logan Roy-shaped hole in the negotiating room, and Matsson can already tell he's dealing with a tribute band.
We need to talk about our CE-Bros fumbling, then stumbling, into a deal
First things first: Kendall is BACK.
This episode opens with a parallel to season one, with Kendall hyping himself up in the back of the car ahead of his first full day as joint interim CEO with Roman.
But it's immediately evident how out of sync their leadership is, which only becomes more awkward when they butt heads while negotiating with Matsson.
They're thrown a curve ball when Matsson demands ATN be brought back into the deal, but Roman is reluctant to budge considering it was "Dad's pride and joy he died trying to keep".
Stuck on the sidelines is Shiv, who's immediately repulsed by the tech industry's insular "bro" culture.
Kendall and Roman don't feel like Matsson passes the "cultural compatibility" vibe check either, and Kendall wants to tank the entire deal out of equal parts spite and ego.
"I like running the ship, I think we're good at it," Kendall says, despite being in charge for roughly 24 hours.
"Shall we chew it with Shivy?" Roman asks, and it's not the first time Kendall has forgotten there's a third musketeer they need to consult with.
Things get ugly when Ken and Rome try to pull a fast one.
"Are you Scooby Doo-ing me here?" Matsson says, pushing and pushing the brothers until they break.
Roman snaps, with Kieran Culkin delivering a monologue which will no doubt be played when his name is read out at the Emmys later this year.
"My sister's kind of f***** up about [Logan's death] and my brother's a mess, and I'm gone. I'm dead, it's over for me. It's OK, it's fine ... but we're not selling to you. We're not doing that."
But Matsson makes an offer the board won't be able to refuse.
We can't not talk about Shiv and Matsson being in cahoots
Is Shiv emerging from her flop era? One can only hope.
She walked a fine line between cosying up to Matsson in that intimately lit Scandinavian cabin without throwing her brothers under the bus … for now.
Instead, Matsson asked for her expertise in public relations and buttered her up like a dinner roll.
"I like you, you're cool. You're not judgey, you can take a joke. I like that. You're like your Dad."
After that, she holds her cards close to her chest by not telling the others about Matsson's relationship with Ebba, GoJo's head of communications.
On the flight home, following Roman's outburst, Matsson offers $192 per share, up from $144 originally.
The boys are congratulated, champagne is poured, but our "b-roll brothers" look dejected.
The worst part? Matsson asks Shiv to send him a photo of their faces, which she actually does.
Let's chat power rankings
We're officially halfway through the final season. Here's the current state of play.
Matsson
We finally learnt more about the Swede this week and after that blood brick backstory and the noise-cancelling headphones, I wish I knew less. Odd behaviour aside, Matsson is a ruthless card trick and played each Roy sibling to get exactly what he wanted. He's the exact sort of person Logan wanted running ATN.
Shiv
Shivy's decisiveness was her best asset this week. Matsson wants ATN? He can have it. The Roy kids can keep something less less racist of Logan's, like an old sweater. But she's a fool if she thinks she's pulling the strings. It's Matsson who is the master manipulator. Despite Tom telling her she's got earlobes as thick as barnacle meat, she also has the upper hand in that relationship now, so she's sitting pretty. But I need her to put down that glass of whiskey ASAP.
Gerri (and Karolina)
I'm grouping the girlies together this week because they're not on Matsson's kill list, phew! Shiv said Karolina is "solid" so she stays, and of course Gerri isn't cut. She gets bonus points this week for rallying the troops on the flight to Norway: "Sure, they're young and they're fit but they're European ... We've been raised by wolves, exposed to a pathogen who goes by the name Logan Roy. And they have no idea what's coming to them."
Roman
Roman is spiralling and those pills are a cause for concern. But this week he actually did what Matsson wanted Roman to do and stood up for himself. And while Matsson told him he's screwed, there's a sense of respect there that he was able to completely unleash. He says his outburst isn't a negotiating tactic, but it's all mind games, and he made a heck of a bigger impression than Kendall.
Kendall
Our perpetual sad boy is back, and by back I mean he's back to self-destructing at an accelerated rate. There were plenty of insults this week, but the most underrated one is Matsson calling Kendall "Mr Vaulter", a reminder of his terrible business skills. One thing I keep forgetting about is the waiter from season one, and if (or when) that will be Kendall's demise.
Marcia
Marcia was nowhere to be seen this week since she obviously wasn't invited to Norway. But that's probably for the best as she didn't make a fool of herself like others. She's too busy organising Logan's funeral. Which brings us to …
Connor
Poor Connor had to cancel on a room of "working-class whites in Cleveland" so he could throw his weight around Frank E Campbell's embalming room so Logan wouldn't be buried in a kilt "like a Bay City Roller". At least being removed from the GoJo deal works in his favour this week.
Tom
"Tom of Siobhan" said he's worried about "being whacked by the cast of Bugsy Malone" and honestly he should be! Rome and Ken offered to "cut Tom's throat" for Shiv "in case that might be a nice thing" for her, a proposition she didn't say yes to immediately, but will keep up her sleeve. By the end of the episode Tom gets the honour of telling Cyd she's cut from ATN. But Logan tried to do that once, and he ended up in a body bag.
Greg
"Gregory Hirsch" once said conversation is important to be in, but he's no doubt regretting being pulled into that trainwreck of a conversation about France. He's once again looking for safety within "the Quad Squad, the Roy patrol, the old team, the family," and Shiv, Kendall and Roman couldn't be more confused.
Hugo (and Frank and Karl)
Your compression socks can't save you now! Naturally, these three are grouped together this week as they all appeared on Matsson's kill list by the end of the episode. But Frank and Karl, or "Krank" as they're known on the internet, are such good value that I can't see them actually being phased out. Hugo is definitely in trouble though.
Notes and observations
- If that phenomenal location in Norway looked familiar, it's because it featured heavily in Alex Garland's 2015 psychological thriller Ex Machina.
- In the US, Representative Madeleine Dean quoted Logan Roy when blasting her Republican colleagues for bringing a House Judiciary Committee hearing to New York City, calling them "not serious people".
