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USA Today Sports Media Group
Sport
Bryan Kalbrosky

Succession Power Rankings: Logan Roy has an existential crisis while his kids spend billions

Warning: DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED EPISODE 1 OF SUCCESSION SEASON 4.

Ready?

Ok.

Welcome to our Succession Power Rankings! Each week of the show’s ten-episode final season, For The Win will chat about the latest episode to see how everyone in the Succession universe is doing. Let’s dig into it.

After winning thirteen Emmy Awards and five Golden Globe Awards, HBO’s Succession is beginning to wrap up the series.

There is a lot we still don’t know about the future of everyone in the Roy family, the owners of the media conglomerate Waystar RoyCo. But after the fourth season premiere, we are starting to get a taste of what could happen the remainder of the way.

RELATED: 3 burning questions we have after seeing the new trailer for Succession

This season begins with the sale of Waystar Royco, to Lukas Matsson, looming. The seismic sale is going to change everyone’s life in new and immeasurable ways.

Here is what else is happening:

11
Connor Roy

Photograph by Macall B. Polay/HBO

This man is considering throwing an additional $100 million at a presidential campaign just so he can maintain a one percent polling rate.

Already worried about how much money he has spent but desperate to stay in the dialogue, he is considering a hoopla-filled wedding under the Statue of Liberty — he wants to have a brass band, a rapper, jetpacks, confetti guns, and other types of razzmatazz.

In the words of his fiancé, Willa Ferreyra, he sounds unhinged.

10
Siobhan Roy

Photograph by Claudette Barius/HBO

Do you know what seems absolutely horrible? Communicating with your relatively estranged father through your soon-to-be ex-husband seems, like, awful.

There were some punches thrown her away during the season premiere. Her father, Logan, says that she has never had an original idea in her life. Her separated partner, Tom, says her dog no longer recognizes her scent. It’s just not a good episode for Shiv.

9
Kendall Roy

Photograph by Claudette Barius/HBO

Kendall has to convince his siblings to spend billions of dollars just because he thinks it would be “funny” to screw his father out of acquiring an asset, so it’s fair to worry about his mental health. He also foolishly tells his siblings to push their bid up to $10 billion for virtually no reason at all.

8
Roman Roy

Photograph by Macall B. Polay/HBO

Roman was the only Roy sibling who understands precisely how many millions of dollars are in a billion dollars. When the siblings ultimately bid as much as they did for PGM, even though he was the only one acting relatively reasonably, he still has to end up bankrolling that lofty sum.

7
Tom Wambsgans

Photograph by Macall B. Polay/HBO

I’m going to let journalist Tess Garcia summarize what we saw from Tom, the more reluctant of the self-described Disgusting Brothers, in this episode: “Tom Wambsgans is a thousand ‘no worries if not’ bottled into one man.” EXACTLY.

He stammers over his words trying to tell Logan that he and Shiv may get divorced and he doesn’t even get to have closure during a conversation with her once they reunite at their home. But hey, even though their marriage has now failed, at least they gave it a go.

6
Greg Hirsch

Photograph by Macall B. Polay/HBO

Cousin Greg, the less reluctant half of the self-described Disgusting Brothers, brought a random girl to Logan’s birthday party. She was so out of place that she asked Logan for a selfie. Yikes!

The random girl was eventually kicked out of the party for posting on social media. But first, she and Greg had some fun together in a guest room — and Tom convinced Greg to tell his uncle what happened. Logan, apparently with a smile, calls Greg disgusting and despicable.

5
Gerri Kellman

Photograph by Macall B. Polay/HBO

This was a throwaway episode for Gerri, who looks like she could use a vacation. Logan tried to ask if she had seen anything funny lately and she was having absolutely none of it.

4
Kerry Castellabate

Photograph by Macall B. Polay/HBO

Logan’s “friend, assistant, and advisor” appears to be flying up the ranks in terms of power. She is the only person Logan is willing to answer the phone for and her opinion is genuinely taken seriously.

3
Logan Roy

Photograph by David Russell/HBO

I’ve never seen someone care less about their own birthday than Logan Roy.

This man is in the middle of an existential crisis and shares thoughts like “what are people?” and “nothing tastes like it used to, does it?” and “nobody tells jokes anymore.” He wonders aloud if there is an afterlife and assumes that there is not.

“Everything I try to do, people turn against me,” Logan continued.

Existentially dreary or not, at the end of the day, Logan is still the most powerful person in any room he walks into. He may have taken a loss on PGM, but his “moron” kids inadvertently saved him from having to spend $10 billion (far over the valuation!) to buy that company.

2
Naomi Pierce

Photograph by Macall B. Polay/HBO

It’s never seemed so fun and effortless to facilitate a multi-billion dollar deal with an ex. One casual hang causes serious chaos between Tom and Shiv and she was persuasive enough to convince the Roy siblings to outbid themselves for no reason at all. Good stuff, Naomi.

1
Nan Pierce

Photograph by Peter Kramer/HBO

Nan Pierce, the head of PGM, deserves a serious round of applause for her ability to power through a migraine just long enough to agree to terms on a deal in which her company could be acquired for $10 billion.

She was the power player of the episode, even if just for one episode.

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