More decades ago than I feel like counting, I asked an expert gardener friend "What flowers can I pick for Christmas?"
Her answer as disheartening: I should have planted annuals in spring, pruned my roses after their first flush of blooming then fed them well, and planted liliums and gladioli and dahlias months before.
I needed a time machine - and possibly a Tardis, too, not just to zap me back a few months but to help collect all that was needed for great bouquets to give away.
For those of you who weren't thinking about December flowers in late August, and who sadly are not yet in possession of a Tardis, there are still some spectacularly bloomin' beautiful possibilities for the holidays this year.
1. Buy a hydrangea, any hydrangea, as long as it is healthy looking. Keep it in a semi-shaded spot, water every day and every Monday give it organic fertiliser according to the instructions on the packet. Or Friday. Or after Wednesday morning tea. It is good to have a specific day and time to feed and water the garden each week, as otherwise it is very easy to forget.
2. Buy a potted geranium/pelargonium. Even better, buy six potted geranium/pelargoniums. Give them full sun, and position them on a window sill or bench in the hottest spot you have, in front of a brick or concrete wall perhaps. Water daily, feed weekly and weakly.
3. Grab yourself a poinsettia. They now come in shades of red, pink cream and white. Poinsettias naturally bloom in winter (though it is actually the bracts that are so colourful) but will have been cleverly tricked into thinking this is winter.
Once the colour has faded, prune them HARD, then plant the prunings in damp sand, and keep them moist for a year or so, so the cuttings form roots to give you new poinsettias, though, sadly, unless you do the complex chill and warm routine, they will give you a grand display in winter, not mid-summer. A rich red winter bloomer, though, is not to be despised.
Only feed poinsettias after pruning, not while blooming, and wear gloves to prune and plant, as the sap may irritate your skin. It is also hard to get off.
4. Seek out an advanced dwarf Magnolia grandiflora, which will give you massive flowers all through mid-summer. A single bloom looks structurally elegant in the correct vase. Kids are awed by their magnitude. Enjoy them in pots this season, then plant the bushes when you have time. Unlike the old varieties of magnolia grandiflora, modern varieties won't take over your entire backyard, and can be pruned to be kept even smaller if you wish.
5. If you are lucky, your local garden centre may have NSW Christmas bush (Ceratopetalum gummiferum) in full glory. Add tinsel and you have a most elegant tree. Sadly, Christmas bush in the wild are usually slightly past their best by Christmas, but as this has been a cool year, the red or pink bracts (not really flowers) may still look fabulous.
Thankfully, new varieties of NSW Christmas bush have been bred for more reliable colour and neater plants. Look for "Albery's Red", or "Red Red Red Christmas" - the name is a breeder's boast, not a typo, but the repetition is deserved - the blooms are fabulous, growing deeper red as the season progresses.
Do not throw out your potted Christmas bush if you have bought one as a native Christmas tree. Prune back the new growth - NOT the old wood - as soon as the colour fades. Keep it in a pot, or a larger pot so it can grow bigger, or in the garden, and water it at least once a week through spring and summer. A white oil spray will get rid of any pests, though hopefully the birds will do this for you - potted NSW Christmas bushes last well indoors for a month or so, but need a decent holiday outside in full sun for the next 11 months. A little feeding in early autumn will help ensure lots of insignificant white blooms that will be followed by the stunning bracts. A dose of iron sulphate (follow directions on the packet) is said to promote longer and richer blooming, though I have never tried it.
6. Look for pots of native Christmas bells (Blandfordia nobilis) too, cosseted to bloom exactly when wanted. Christmas bells grow naturally in marshy areas, i.e. soft, damp preferably sandy soil, with protection from winds. They can flower anywhere from November to February, though the ones sold in the nursery should be obedient holiday bloomers. You'll find them fabulously hardy once established, ignoring droughts, the flowers staying bright in the hottest summers and recovering after a battering from hail storms with a kind of "Hey, we're Aussie plants and have been blooming with no help from gardeners for millennia" insouciance. Plant lots, preferably in a rockery where you'll get a good view of their annual display. Large clumps can be divided to give you an even more spectacular display or to be potted up to give to friends.
7. The New Zealand Christmas Tree, or Pohutukawa (Metrosideros excelsus), has glorious crimson blooms all summer. The wild ones (i.e. their ancestors that have not been bred and selected by plant breeders) don't look magnificent every year, but these days there are dwarf cultivars that bloom reliably as well as wonderfully, and also look great in pots. If you know a homesick New Zealander, give them a Pohutukawa in full bloom. It will be cheaper than a couple of plane tickets.
8. Hang two baskets of fuchsias either side of the front door for instant colour and celebratory cheer. Fuchsias need LOTS of feeding and watering, or they become spindly and stingy with their flowers, so only give them to ardent gardeners, or offer your fortnightly services as an extra gift to act as butler and general nursemaid, feeding, watering and pruning - and using those prunings as cuttings for more fuchsias.
Actually one of the best gifts for a gardener is a voucher for garden or pot plant watering while they are on holiday. A voucher for a monthly afternoon's weeding, or even one day dedicated to getting the garden in order, is also definitely appreciated.
You could also give a voucher for a trip for two to the garden centre to pick out the plant they really want. Choose a garden centre with its own café, or an excellent one on the route between there and home, and you have an enjoyable and productive afternoon for two, well coffeed, full of cake, and ready to plant out your purchases.
This week I am:
- Doing my annual mutter at the tomato plants: "You set fruit a month ago, why aren't the tomatoes ripening?". So far they haven't replied.
- Remembering once again that zucchini must be picked every second day, if not daily, or you get rubbery hulks like the ones in shops, not really worth bothering with, though the chooks have a few pecks at them.
- Grumbling at the carrot seedlings. The packets say the "Baby" and "Round" carrots mature in 70 days. The carrots do not agree. They have stayed at finger nail size for three weeks now. Maybe they need encouraging words, instead of just complaint. Does anyone know a good song to liven up a bed of carrots?
- Discovering that we will not have an apricot harvest this year, either due to lack of bees, or bees unwilling to venture out in a rainy spring to buzz from flower to flower.
- Still picking mulberries, broad beans, rhubarb, and snow peas, the last of the limes and oranges, and the leaves of one stubborn winter kale plant that hasn't gone to seed like all the others. Memo: must keep its seed when it finally does bloom and set seed. It deserves to propagate.
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