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Stephen Colbert has decided that it’s time to stop telling his jokes about Joe Biden’s age now that he’s dropped out of the 2024 race – but that he will simply repurpose them for use on Donald Trump.
“I am officially retiring all of my ‘Joe Biden is old’ jokes,” Colbert declared on his late-night show on Monday.
“They were starting to get tired anyway. Just like Joe Biden. That was the last one, I swear!”
He continued: “Now, I’m going to unretire them to use them on Donald Trump.”
With that, Colbert took his “Joe Biden Old” labeled binder and flipped it to reveal a new label: “Donald Trump Old.”
The 81-year-old president’s exit from the 2024 race on Sunday has now left Trump, aged 78, the oldest presidential nominee in history.
If Trump wins the election in November, he will be 82 when he leaves the White House in four years’ time – the same age that Biden will be when he leaves office in January.
Jokes about Biden’s age were not the only thing that Colbert said he was retiring; the comedian also waved goodbye to his Biden-esque aviator sunglasses, which he would often wear while parodying the president.
“Those aviators did the hardest job of all. They made it seem like I had a Joe Biden impression,” Colbert said, adding that the sunglasses would now be relegated to “a place of honor next to Captain America’s shield.”
With Biden retiring from his campaign to try and win a second term in the White House, The Late Show host paid tribute to his time in office.
“I believe he has been a great president,” Colbert said. “He steered this country out of a horrific pandemic. He saved countless lives by encouraging people to get vaccinated. He brought the economy back. He rallied our allies, he reasserted America’s place on the world stage.”
“And most inspiring of all, at no time was he Donald Trump. Inspiring,” he added.
While Colbert praised Biden, calling him “selfless” for stepping aside from the US presidency for the “greater good,” he did point out one particular issue he had with Biden’s departure announcement.
“Biden made this historic announcement in a letter that said, ‘It has been the greatest honor of my life to serve as your president.’ Adding, ‘I believe it is in the best interest of my party and the country for me to stand down and to focus solely on fulfilling my duties as president for the remainder of my term,’” Colbert read out.
However, Colbert pointed out that this note was posted on X, formerly Twitter, “the social media site owned by the world’s richest man, Elon Musk, who has pledged $45m a month to a new super PAC backing Trump.”
“I understand, he kind of had to. But it just gave Elon more clicks. It’d be like Greta Thunberg announcing her latest climate proposal on Gas Station TV,” he joked.
While it appears Colbert will miss Biden and the old jokes he made at his expense, he said that after five years of speaking about the president and Trump he is glad that he finally has “something new to talk about”.
“What is this strange feeling? It’s like my blood is flowing again. For the first time in months, I don’t want to build a little pillow fort and crawl in there with a hoagie and a tub of frosting. Is this... is this excitement? Is this hope? Is there any way to physically embody this feeling?” he said before cutting to a recent viral video of Vice-President Kamala Harris dancing with a group of children.
