Late-night hosts recap the second day of the Democratic national convention, Biden’s 45-minute speech and George Santos pleading guilty to identity theft.
Stephen Colbert
As on Monday, Stephen Colbert took on The Late Show live following the second day of the Democratic national convention on Tuesday night. From Chicago’s Auditorium Theatre, the host acknowledge the day’s official theme: “A Bold Vision for America’s Future”.
“And the unofficial theme was ‘weee!’” Colbert joked. “The vibe is definitely good.”
The primetime broadcast opened with “the most fun roll call of all time” in which each state cast their vote for the nominee accompanied by a live DJ spinning state-themed songs. “They’re putting the ‘party’ back in Democratic party,” said Colbert, “and for the first time in history, a mom just stood up and proudly said ‘my son is a DJ.’”
The roll call, featuring Spike Lee and Lil Jon, offered “nothing but bangers”, said Colbert. “The Democrats’ roll call was a win for Kamala Harris but, more importantly, a win for Now That’s What I Call Nominating, Vol 3.
“All in all, it was a great time, and a celebration of state pride and a celebration of song featuring my favorite artist: anyone but Lee Greenwood,” he added.
Before the Obamas took the stage for the night’s premiere addresses – “spoiler: they were good,” said Colbert – Kamala Harris’s husband, Doug Emhoff, delivered a speech celebrating their different cultural backgrounds. Harris “makes a mean brisket for Passover”, said Emhoff, who is Jewish. “It brings me right back to my grandmother’s apartment in Brooklyn – you know, the one with the plastic covered couches.”
“Don’t even think about it, JD Vance,” Colbert quipped.
Seth Meyers
On Late Night, Seth Meyers delved into Joe Biden’s 45-minute speech at the convention on Monday evening. “I gotta say, it was a little like running into someone a month after you broke up with them, and they look good and they’re funny and they’re fiery and you think to yourself, ‘ahh, still glad we broke up,’” he said.
Biden thanked his wife, Jill, and said his heart still beats a little faster whenever he sees her coming down the stairs. “And when Joe’s on the stairs, everyone’s heart beats faster, too,” Meyers quipped.
While getting a cheesesteak in Philadelphia yesterday, JD Vance asked an employee why they didn’t serve the sandwich with swiss cheese. “And NBC can now project the state of Pennsylvania for Kamala Harris,” Meyers joked.
US intelligence agencies confirmed yesterday that Iran attempted to hack the Trump, Biden and Harris campaigns. “Damn, RFK even being left out of that,” Meyers joked. “It would be so easy with facial recognition to hack him. You just hold up a baseball glove.”
The disgraced former congressman George Santos pleaded guilty on Monday to wire fraud and identity theft. “And just for the attention, the attack on Nancy Kerrigan,” said Meyers.
And Prince William has reportedly not spoken to Prince Harry in almost two years. “Of course, for two men, that’s a completely normal amount of time,” said Meyers.
The Daily Show
Joe Biden's fiery DNC speech has everyone wondering: Is he a night owl? pic.twitter.com/fFSD6VRVJR
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) August 21, 2024
And on the Daily Show, the guest host Desi Lydic also looked into Biden’s speech, which “was so late” that “even the righwing pundits were insulted”.
According to Fox News pundits, Biden’s post-11pm slot was “incredibly disrespectful”, and “disgusting”.
“I’m sorry, I’m very confused here,” said Lydic. “Do you guys hate him or not? ‘Joe Biden is a corrupt leader of a crime family who stole the presidency, and how dare they keep him up past his bedtime. The nerve!’”
Biden took the stage at 11.26pm ET, “which is late, although I will remind the east coast media elites at Fox News that there are other time zones”, said Lydic.
“You might expect that by 11.26, Joe Biden would be coming to the stage in pajamas and one of those old timey sleeping hats,” she added. “But instead, he gave his most high energy performance in a long time.”
Biden said of Trump: “who does he think he is?!” and called the former president “not worthy of being commander-in-chief. Period. Not then, not now and not ever.”
“Excuse me, is it getting hot in here?” Lydic teased.
“This was one of Joe Biden’s finest moments,” she noted. “He was forceful, he was selfless, he was patriotic. Honestly, it almost made me wonder if maybe we should go back …” before the specter of Nancy Pelosi made her retract that statement.
