Get all your news in one place.
100's of premium titles.
One app.
Start reading
The Guardian - AU
The Guardian - AU
Comment
Gaynor Parkin and Erika Clarry

Staying close with an ex’s family is a worthy choice, but you don’t have to ‘fix’ everything

Multi-generation family relaxing on retaining wall against a clear sky
‘The family systems theory likens family dynamics to a scripted drama where members play certain roles to maintain the system, no matter what the cost.’ Photograph: Morsa Images/Getty Images

After several years of trying to salvage her long relationship with Rosa through couple’s counselling and other efforts, Kara eventually made the difficult decision to end it. After the separation, Kara found herself estranged and isolated from Rosa’s extended family, whom she had shared close ties with for more than 30 years.

The enduring pain of being excluded from family gatherings and communications made her wonder if she was being punished for her choice to leave. Caught in a constant struggle, Kara oscillated between attempts to reconnect and repair, or avoidance because the rejections were far too painful.

Sign up to read this article
Read news from 100's of titles, curated specifically for you.
Already a member? Sign in here
Related Stories
Top stories on inkl right now
One subscription that gives you access to news from hundreds of sites
Already a member? Sign in here
Our Picks
Fourteen days free
Download the app
One app. One membership.
100+ trusted global sources.