Holly* thought the man she was talking to online could be trusted. But things turned sinister when he convinced the 14-year-old to send him nude pictures of herself, which he then threatened to share with her friends and family unless she sent more or paid him money. Holly felt trapped and afraid. She told the NSPCC’s Childline that she had reported it to the social network she was using to communicate with the man, but she had not heard back from them. “I don’t want to tell the police because my parents would then know what I did and they would be so disappointed,” she said.
Holly’s disturbing story illustrates how easily children can be drawn into online sexual abuse. During Covid there was a 374% rise in the number of sexual images and videos that children and young people took themselves and shared online, according to the Internet Watch Foundation.
While some children have shared “self-generated” sexual images, others are unwittingly exposed to disturbing content.
Last year, more than a third (36%) of children aged between eight and 17 saw something online which was “worrying or nasty”, according to the communications regulator Ofcom. This could include self-harm or pro-suicidal content, pornography or terrorist beheading videos, says Kate Edwards, associate head of child safety online at the NSPCC.
“Algorithms are driving the content that these children and young people are seeing,” she says. “A child may have looked at a post about self-harm, maybe out of curiosity, or something may have appeared on their Explore page. Once they’ve engaged with one or two similar posts the app will start sharing more and more of the same content with them.”
And because algorithms are linked to an individual’s online experience, it can be very difficult for parents to see the same content their children have seen. So, what does the NSPCC suggest parents do to reduce online risks, and what signs should they look out for that indicate their child may have been exposed to harm?
Parents who restrict the time their children spend online and limit when they can use their online devices or smartphones will still not be doing enough to protect them from predators, says Edwards. “The thing is, a child can be exposed to online abuse after being online for five minutes or five hours,” she says.
Key to protecting a child is for parents to create a “no-blame” culture at home. “We get Childline calls from children who have been on their devices and exposed to disturbing content during the night when their parents are asleep,” says Edwards. “The children are then too scared to wake their parents because they should be asleep. It’s important for parents to keep an open mind and to talk to their children about what they are experiencing online, and be open to hearing what they have to say.”
Turning on parental control settings on wifi, phone networks, individual apps and devices is vital. The move blocks and filters upsetting or inappropriate content, as well as managing what different family members can see.
Parents, though, will have to adopt a different strategy for younger children.
Seventeen percent of three- and four-year-olds now have a smartphone, alongside 28% of five- to seven-year-olds. “The difficulty with younger children is that they don’t know how they can stop watching something that scares them,” says Edwards.
“The thing to do here is to teach them how to press the sleep button on their device and then bring the device to you,” she says. It is also key at this early age to start “active conversations” about the online world and how it is important not to keep a secret or share images.
“I don’t think parents are naive about the online risks, but I think it’s very difficult to keep up to date because technology is moving so quickly,” says Edwards. “Some of this is also quite tricky – parents think if they put a filter on the home wifi that it will stop anything coming through that you don’t want your children to see. No filter is 100% effective, which is why it’s also important to develop a strategy.”
A clear sign of whether a child has been exposed to harm is if they become withdrawn and are fearful of their device every time they get a message, says Edwards. Another indicator is if they receive an unusual number of messages and look worried. Parents should also be alert if their child starts to use very adult language, has a number of new friends and new apps, or if they suddenly have a lot of extra money to spend, she says.
Parental involvement in keeping their children safe online is especially important when self-regulation by tech companies appears to have failed to protect them.
The NSPCC is hopeful that the online safety bill, which is currently going through parliament, will go some way towards creating a safer environment for children. It is crucial that the amendment it has lobbied for – to establish an advocacy body to represent the voice of the child and sound the alarm to any new online threats as they happen – is written into the statute books. “We get a rich insight when we listen to children at the moment,” says Edwards. “By having this formal advocacy body in place, children and young people will be written into the process of effective regulation.”
* Name changed for safeguarding
Childhood Day is a day that brings everyone in the UK together to have fun and help protect children. Whether you join the Childhood Day Mile, volunteer or donate – we need everyone to play their part.
In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org or jo@samaritans.ie. For more information visit samaritans.org. In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is at 800-273-8255 or chat for support. You can also text HOME to 741741 to connect with a crisis text line counsellor. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is 13 11 14. Other international helplines can be found at befrienders.org
If you have any concerns at all about a child’s safety or wellbeing, don’t hesitate to contact the NSPCC Helpline for adults on 0808 800 5000 or help@nspcc.org.uk
Children and young people can contact Childline, the UK’s free 24-hour helpline on 0800 1111 or visit childline.org.uk
