For weeks now, there has been a message languishing unanswered in the depths of my WhatsApp history. Periodically, I tell myself that today will be the day I finally get my act together and respond. I open up the chat, prepare to type out some variation of “Sorry for the slow reply…” only to immediately shift my attention to some other notification or shiny new piece of digital ephemera. And the part that makes this whole cycle even more ridiculous? The message isn’t some emotionally fraught monologue or bombshell statement. It’s a simple “how are you doing?” garnished with a few quick life updates, sent by a good friend whom I really value (and that only amps up the sense of guilt).
I know that my poor texting etiquette will probably provoke polarised responses. You’ll either shudder in recognition, thinking of all the texts you’ve accidentally ignored, all the messages you’ve responded to a month late – the ones you caveated with “I’ve been rubbish with my phone recently” (despite the fact that the only time said phone has been out of your immediate eye line for more than a few hours has been when you’re asleep). Or you’ll think that leaving people on “read” is the sign of an irredeemably rubbish friend who barely deserves that title. You might even have cut people out of your life for similar infractions or be deeply suspicious of those who (like me) turn their read receipts off on messaging apps, so it’s less easy to clock whether they’re ignoring you or not.
