‘Some weeks I only speak to the postman’: how to escape learned loneliness – and soar socially

Joining a running group or parkrun can be a surprisingly good way to make friends. Illustration: Mark Long/The Guardian

When Jeni Matthewman, 44, recently moved back to rural Devon, she imagined she would have plenty of old friends to reconnect with. However, with a busy schedule as a breath and body therapist, and a husband whose own job took him elsewhere during the week, something slowly began to dawn on her: she no longer had a social life.

“During the week, apart from my work, I wouldn’t see anyone,” she says. “Most of the friends I used to know had moved away or they had kids so we couldn’t meet up the way we used to.” And Matthewman was not a person to make friends casually: she had suffered from social anxiety for most of her life.