Comedy star Russell Howard can guarantee to make people laugh with his latest one-liner... or just two words, to be precise.
The moment he says “ Boris Johnson ” the audience is in stitches.
But here’s the thing. Neither Russell, nor his fans, find the Prime Minister funny. It’s that they think HE is a joke.
Russell is astonished and appalled that the Tory bluffer is still PM after the Partygate scandal and a confidence vote that saw 148 Tory MPs oppose him.
And he fears there is no chance of Johnson standing down.
In an exclusive interview with the Sunday People, Russell says: “I’ve just done a tour across Europe and whenever you kind of mention our leader there’s just instant laughter.
"It’s just a unique time in our lives where we all did the right thing, except for the people who were in charge. It’s a really difficult thing to take.
“I don’t know anyone who is surprised by how appallingly they’ve behaved and yet he’s still in power.”
Russell, whose wife Cerys Morgan is an NHS doctor, added: “A lot of people really struggled and for the person in charge to disobey the rules, it’s not on.
"It was incredibly stressful and tough that people couldn’t see their loved ones.”
The comic was speaking ahead of taking part in tonight’s Soccer Aid match.
He is playing for England against a World XI in the fundraiser for UNICEF.
Showbiz stars like Liam Payne and Lee Mack will take to the field with soccer icons Roberto Carlos, Andriy Shevchenko and Andrea Pirlo – as well as former 110 metres champion Usain Bolt.
The PM took part in a similar charity football match in 2006, when he famously rugby-tackled Maurizio Gaudino – to the fury of the former German international, who was left writhing in agony.
And Russell, 42, is relieved there is no danger of Johnson repeating the feat at West Ham’s London Stadium.
Russell goes on: “If he was playing now we wouldn’t be able to hear each other talk over the boos! It’s pretty wild how the world changes, isn’t it?
“Can you imagine the idea now of Boris lining up? You’d say, ‘Are you sure about that? Are you sure that’s safe?’
“To be honest there’s no way that he’s going to stand down.
“He’s just going to carry on. But in a football context, if Boris Johnson were the manager of any football club in this country, he wouldn’t be in charge, would he?
“It’s not just him, it’s a whole bunch of them who just didn’t obey the rules and if you had behaved like that in most jobs you wouldn’t have your job.”
Of Johnson’s football exploits, Russell adds: “I won’t be rugby tackling anyone... I’ll just be trailing in their wake, I imagine!
“I’m looking forward to it, but I’m also slightly terrified. “It’s the stuff of nightmares, thinking, ‘Oh God, I haven’t trained properly. I’ve got to try and go round Roberto Carlos’.
“Or, ‘I’ve got to take on Pirlo’ and then you look down and you’ve got ducks for feet or something!
“I have no idea what position I’ll be in yet, I’ll play anywhere. If I manage to get 20 minutes, that’ll do me, really. It’s an incredible opportunity to play football at a Premier League ground with 60,000 people there. It’s bananas!”
Despite his pre-match nerves, Russell does have football experience and was a useful player in his younger days, albeit at a lower level.
He explains: “I played at the heady heights of Basingstoke Town’s reserve team when they were in the Ryman League.
“I stopped playing at about 16. I’m good for a comedian and in a comedian’s game, on a Tuesday, I’m all right for that standard. But [in this game] I’m way down the pecking order.
“With comedy, it’s about trying to make them laugh on purpose, whereas with my football skills I’ll be trying desperately to make sure people don’t laugh. I think if you hear laughter at a football ground it’s gone badly.
“That’ll be the main difference and this is going to be 60,000 people, whereas the biggest gig I’ve done is the 02 and Manchester Arenas, which is like 18,000.
“So it’s a hell of a step up from that and it’ll be a huge difference. It’s such a fun, mad thing.
“It’s funny when you find out from different people on TV ‘I used to play for Chelsea’.
“I’m like what? It’s a bit like ‘hang on, you’ve revised for the exam?’”
Russell was previously pencilled in for the 2020 version of Soccer Aid, but had to pull out due to the event clashing with his wedding.
But he did take part in another charity match – Game 4 Grenfell, at QPR’s Loftus Road stadium, a few miles from the scene of the 2017 fire disaster in north-west London.
In that game he picked up some vital experience against athletics legend Sir Mo Farah and hopes it might help when he faces former Olympic sprinter Bolt tonight.
Russell recalls: “I was lucky enough to play in the game for Grenfell and I played against Mo Farah.
One of my main memories of it was when I dropped a shoulder and went past Mo. For whatever reason my brain was like, ‘Well, you’ve done him, you may as well accelerate!
“I genuinely thought I could outrun Mo Farah! Seconds later I looked down and thought, ‘That doesn’t look like my foot’ and he just scooped the ball off me and left me on the floor.
“So I definitely won’t be doing that against Usain Bolt!
“I think if you see him running towards you, just get rid of it.”
Win or lose tonight, Russell is determined to enjoy the experience and focus on the most important thing, raising money for international children’s charity UNICEF.
He said: “It’s such a brilliant way of making money for UNICEF, so if I miss a penalty and it makes loads of money, then great. You kind of just make money through stealth.
“Hopefully it’s a nice bunch, a decent game and a bunch of people turn up and we make a load of money for charity.
“It’s a really special day – and all kind of schoolboy fantasy.”
Oh, and Russell needn’t worry about Mo Farah tonight... they’re on the same side.
Soccer Aid is on ITV from 6.30pm
