As she plunged into the cold water beneath Linhope Spout, Ashleigh Marr had one thing on her mind: the fun, adventurous brother she wished was by her side.
On April 16, Ashleigh challenged herself to swim in the water of the North East's ten biggest waterfalls within ten hours. Her challenge took place on the third anniversary of the tragic death of her brother Alex Johnson, from Chester-le-Street, who died by suicide after a "long and difficult struggle" with mental health problems.
"Thoughtful and caring", as well as "dead funny", Alex's death, at the age of just 24, provoked an outpouring of grief and shock from his community, as the beloved uncle, son, brother and friend had kept many of his difficulties hidden from even close pals.
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Accompanied by her partner Nick Stewart and wild swimming enthusiast Mike Monkman, mum-of-two Ashleigh took on the exhilarating challenge in a bid to raise money for suicide prevention in Alex's name.
Starting at 6am, the trio started at Richmond Falls in North Yorkshire, taking in Cauldrons Force, Wain Wath Force, Kisdon Force, Horseshoe Falls, Summerhill Force, Gibson Cave and Crammel Linn on their way to Linhope Spout, in Northumberland. There they were joined by Ashleigh's children Emme, four, and Jesse, three, along with her mum Julie Johnson-Carruthers and stepdad Neil Carruthers, to share an emotional moment and recall treasured memories of Alex.
Ashleigh, 32, said: "It was a really good day. Everyone was really positive and we managed to turn a day that is a really hard one for our family into something positive.
"When we reached the last waterfall my mum and my stepdad came along and brought my two kids, and we were speaking about Alex a lot with them. I had a lot of time to reflect and to talk about him.
"I think he would have thought I was absolutely crazy for doing this, but I think he would have wanted to go in too. He liked a bit of adventure."
The £1,200 raised through the swim will be added to the fund of more than £14,000 raised in Alex's name for Durham suicide prevention charity If U Care Share. Supporting the charity has offered the family a perfect way to remember generous, caring Alex, whilst helping others facing the darkness that overwhelmed him.
Ashleigh added: "I'm really happy that we hit our target and actually over-achieved it. It's important to us to raise the money but also to raise awareness, for other families who've been through it to hear what our family is doing and how to try and turn a really difficult situation into something a bit positive."
The family is now hoping to take on another adventurous challenge "on a bigger scale" next year, to raise yet more funds to help bereaved families and those at risk of suicide.
Donations can be made to If U Care Share in Alex's name at: https://www.totalgiving.co.uk/mypage/alexjohnson
- For confidential support from volunteers, including for suicidal thoughts, Samaritans can be contacted free, on 116 123 or by email to jo@samaritans.org
- In the North East, If U Care Share Foundation supports those bereaved by suicide and works towards suicide prevention
