A witch who is “sexually and romantically attracted” to herself is preparing for a self-marriage ceremony involving sacrifices and vows on Halloween 2023 to “formally and spiritually recognise” her “unique relationship”. Ghia Vitale, 33, a senior editor at Quail Bell Magazine, first learned about sologamy – the practice of marrying yourself – in May 2017 and on the same day, she “quickly acted on that desire” and “mentally” asked herself to marry herself.
After some “hesitation”, she said yes to herself, and thinks becoming a sologamist will “validate and strengthen” her relationship with herself – Ghia identifies as autosexual and autoromantic, meaning she is sexually and romantically attracted to herself. The practising witch is now planning her wedding ceremony, which will not be legally binding but will involve a ritual where she will summon spiritual beings, give them sacrifices, bless a wedding necklace instead of a wedding ring, and pronounce herself as married by kissing a photo of herself.
She then plans on having a wedding cake and getting “a bunch of Taco Bell” with her friends to celebrate. Once Ghia gets married, she thinks it will last forever and does not see “divorce on (her) horizon”, but she is open to meeting other partners in the future – on top of being autosexual and autoromantic, Ghia is also polyamorous and has said her current partners “respect (her) relationship with (herself)”.
“I’ve always been a lover to myself, and a self-marriage ritual is a way of formally and spiritually recognising my unique relationship with myself,” Ghia, who lives in New York, told PA Real Life. “As a witch, I am fond of spells and rituals, including self-love rituals – I see self-marriage as the pinnacle of all self-love rituals.”
Ghia first learned about sologamy in May 2017 when she came across an article online. She said: “I was immediately intrigued and wanted to know more.
“After doing some more research, I realised that people were out there marrying themselves and I could be one of them too.” On the same day she learned about sologamy, on May 22 2017, Ghia proposed to herself.
She explained: “It wasn’t something I planned out. As I learned more about sologamy, I soon realised that I wanted to be married to myself and quickly acted on that desire.
“At that moment, I mentally asked myself, ‘Ghia, will you marry me?’ I hesitated for a bit, then happily thought to myself, “Yes, absolutely!’” On reflection, Ghia thinks the main reason she wanted to marry herself was to declare her love for herself.
She said: “My relationship with myself involves sexual and romantic feelings that many people only feel for another individual entirely. I’m perfectly capable of experiencing sexual and romantic feelings for other people, but I also have these feelings for myself.
“I see the act of marrying myself as a self-love ritual that validates and strengthens my relationship with myself – I am my own lover, and I want to honour my relationship with myself by marrying myself in a self-love ritual.” But, Ghia thinks there are a lot of misconceptions about being autosexual and autoromantic.
She said: “There are a lot of people who think that this means I don’t love or care about other people, but that’s not true at all – I absolutely do love my friends and family, and simply having sexual and romantic feelings for myself doesn’t override or minimise the feelings of love I have for others.” She is also polyamorous and does not plan on stopping having multiple partners when she gets married to herself.
She said: “I am open to having a partner, and I currently have multiple partners. All of them respect my relationship with myself, and none of them have ever pressured me to ignore my desires or change myself.
“I have a great capacity for love, and when I love someone, I love them deeply – I am incredibly grateful for all of my partners. I cherish every moment I spend bonding with them – I’ve also noticed that I feel depleted and sad when I go for too long without talking to the people I’m involved with.”
When Ghia told her friends and family that she was going to marry herself, she was delighted with their support. She explained: “I try to surround myself with open-minded people, so I haven’t received hate or judgement from the people I’m actually close with.
“Of course, some of them had questions, but I was happy to answer them. Fortunately, the people who are closest to me were accepting, supportive, and trusted that I knew what was best for me.
“Yes, I’ve gotten some hate and disapproval, but I’m fortunate that I haven’t gotten any hate from the people I actually trust.” Ghia is now planning her self-marriage ceremony on October 31, where she will wear a black wedding dress, and will be performing a private ritual outdoors because, as a pagan, she wants to “feel very connected to nature” on her big day.
She said: “I want the moment I get married to myself to be personal, and I feel like I’ll be able to connect better with myself better if I’m alone.” On what will happen in the ritual itself, she said: “At the beginning of my self-marriage ritual, I will be summoning some of the spiritual beings I work with – I work with a lot of different beings, including deities, faeries, demons, angels, and more.
“I will then verbally thank them for their presence, then give them sacrifices as tokens of my gratitude – the sacrifices I provide will most likely be in the form of incense, a candle, food, and a libation of some kind – I will probably use an athame, a ritual knife, for this.” Instead of a wedding ring, Ghia is going to have a necklace, which she will bless, and she will also be saying vows to herself, she said: “My vows will consist of the ways I am committing to be the best lover to myself that I can possibly be.”
She will then pronounce herself as married, she explained: “I will end that pronouncement with, ‘So mote it be’, then kiss a photo of myself and, most likely, my arms as well. I will be framing that picture and saving it for sentimental reasons.”
After her wedding, she is arranging to have a wedding cake, and celebrate with her friends. She said: “The plan is to get a bunch of Taco Bell for everyone to enjoy – I want the celebration afterwards to be fun, lighthearted, and accessible to my loved ones who aren’t spiritual or involved in witchcraft like I am.”
Once Ghia gets symbolically married to herself, she plans on staying that way for the rest of her life. I think I will always be married to myself – I see no divorce on my horizon,” she said.
