One single dad might need to prepare for a full home inspection if he wants to follow through with the sleepover his daughter is excitedly anticipating.
In a post on the subreddit ‘Ask UK,’ he explained that the parents of his daughter’s friend had requested the probe as a condition for allowing the overnight stay to take place.
The father asked people on the internet to share their opinions on the situation, prompting a discussion about the line between genuine safety concerns and prejudice against men raising kids on their own.
Raising a child alone entails more responsibilities than doing it with a partner
But this father didn’t think that even sleepovers would be so complicated
These aren’t the only parents who are skeptical of sleepovers
Mary Alvord isn’t surprised that a fair share of parents are uncertain about trusting others to keep their kids overnight.
During the four decades she’s spent as a clinical psychologist, Alvord has seen parental anxiety steadily increasing. According to her, the pandemic only exacerbated that pattern, but she noticed a heightened sense of caution among parents even before Covid.
“It’s a delicate balance — you do not want to put your children in harm’s way,” she said. “On the other hand, you don’t want them to be afraid of risks that are important to move them further in life, like trying new things, tolerating some level of discomfort, pushing yourself outside your comfort zone.”
Alvord believes social media has played a part in shaping the amplified sense of vigilance; today’s parents are inundated with an overwhelming volume of information and traumatic accounts of potential dangers. A common belief is that we live in a perilous time to raise a child, giving parents plenty of reason to feel on edge.
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages / Envato (not the actual photo)
“There’s just a lot more for parents to think about now,” Alvord said. “And it’s not that some of these things weren’t going on before, but we weren’t as aware of it, people weren’t talking about it.”
Alvord, who grew up the daughter of Armenian immigrants in New York City, fondly remembers attending sleepovers when she was a young girl herself. That kind of social experience can foster a sense of independence and offer kids a new way to understand their peers, exposing them to different environments, different foods, different rhythms, and routines. “I learned a lot by going to other people’s homes,” she added.
But kids can build social fluency and resilience through many different kinds of encounters. “Sleepovers are just one way,” Alvord said, “and I think we all do need to be sensitive to kids who may feel left out because their families don’t believe in it — that’s fine, that’s their family value.”
So maybe the parents described in the post were perfectly entitled to the uneasiness they were feeling. However, the way they went about it could have been more considerate
The story has received a lot of different reactions
