Simon Armitage: ‘You’re not going to get me to say anything bad about any bird’

‘I’m not planning on dying. I haven’t signed up for that. That’s something that other people do’ … Simon Armitage. Photograph: Christopher Thomond/The Guardian

If you had a sandwich named after you, what would be in it?

I’m gonna go for a toasted sandwich on what we call “plastic white bread” – bread that’s got no health or calorific value whatsoever. It’s just comfort eating and you need it.