A mum of-two who was repeatedly raped when she was a child by a local shopkeeper has bravely opened up on the harrowing ordeal after the predator was sent to prison. The woman, who has been given the pseudonym Kate to protect her anonymity, started working a weekend job at her local shop when she was 13 to earn money.
But predator Nazir Ahmed, now 73, subjected her to horrific abuse almost every weekend for a year during her employment at West End Store on Grand Avenue, Cardiff. Kate was terrified to report the abuse after being told by Ahmed that no one would believe her and she spiralled into depression, coping using alcohol.
Wales Online reports that 25 years after the horrific assaults, Kate reported Ahmed to police. He was caged for 12 years at Cardiff Crown Court earlier this month.
In a victim impact statement, Kate said: "I have spent my whole life blaming myself... What did I do wrong to deserve all this hurt, pain and suffering that I live with day in and day out? I never feel like I deserve to be happy and loved because how could anyone love such a damaged, messed up person?"
Ahmed was seen a "lovely and normal" guy in the community and ran the West End Store for around three decades, only retiring a few years ago. He targeted Kate weeks after she began to work as an assistant at his store. One weekend, on a trip back from a warehouse, he pulled his can over.
Kate said: "He said the stock had fallen down again and he asked me to help him pick it up. We went to the back of the van. Then he shut the door and pushed me onto the floor. I froze. I knew what was going to happen, I don't know why. He pulled down his trousers and mine, and put a condom on. He stunk of stale fag smoke."
"He acted like it had never happened," she said. "He went in the front of the van and carried on driving. That happened almost every weekend for over a year. It was the same process over and over again. Nothing ever changed."
The abuse left Kate feeling numb and she turned to alcohol to cope. "There were a lot of girls in the area who'd hang round drinking and smoking. I'd never been one of those kids. I was a very innocent, well-behaved child. One day I stopped being like that. People probably thought it was me becoming a teenager." She added: "He destroyed my life."
Ahmed mostly pretended the abuse never happened but on a few occasions, he warned Kate about reporting him to the police. Kate said: "I pushed him off once and he told me, 'Nobody would ever believe you, you're nothing but a silly little girl, and if you did tell anyone, I'd tell them you sold yourself to me.' He made me feel as if I was the one in the wrong, as if I was the one who allowed him to do it. I felt disgusted."
Kate believes Ahmed targeted her due to her vulnerability as she was living at home with a single mother who was struggling to cope with a breakup and Kate felt she had no one to support her. On the last occasion Ahmed raped Kate, she could heard children playing and laughing outside of the van. She felt something snap in that moment and she tried to call for help, banging the side of that van and scaring Ahmed into stopping the sickening assault.
Kate never went back to the shop. "It had been going on for just over a year," she said. "He saw it as just another thing he did on a normal day at work. But I didn't want to be here anymore."
Shortly after the final attack, Kate took a huge overdose of painkilling pills. "Luckily my mother found me when she did. I remember the ambulance guy shouting at me, 'You won't make it to your 16th birthday.' I said, 'I don't want to.' He was annoyed because he thought I was a stupid girl who'd taken an overdose. He didn't know why I did it."
While she spent three days in a psychiatric ward after attempting to take her own life, Kate did not feel safe speaking to staff about the abuse. She later confided in an adult but felt they "brushed it under the table" and this solidified her belief that no one would believe her.
"I thought, 'If this person who knows me and loves me doesn't want to listen to me, then strangers won't listen to me either.' I had no way to open up to anyone else and I never thought anyone would believe me."
Now a mum-of-two, Kate was terrified to leave her children with other people and often took panic attacks and flashbacks, many of them triggered by stale cigarette smoke. In 2021, Kate's son was attacked at knifepoint and she urged him to report it to the police, despite him not wanting to make a statement.
She thought to herself: "I'm a hypocrite. How can I tell my children what to do when I've spent my whole life hiding something?" She reported Ahmed for the horrific abuse and he went on trial on April of this year.
Ahmed, of Claude Road in Roath, pleaded not guilty to three charges of raping Kate and four of indecent assault against a girl aged under 14 — another alleged victim who had come forward with historic allegations. While the cross examination was horrific, Kate felt a sense of empowerment at finally being able to tell her story.
She said: "When I stared [at Ahmed] in the face, he couldn't look at me and he showed his guilt. He'd had control over me for so many years. I felt I was the one in control now. After I'd given evidence I was allowed to sit in the public gallery. I wanted to know how after all these years he could stand there lying that it never happened."
Following two weeks of evidence, the jury deliberated for three days. When they returned, their first four verdicts were not guilty — but unbeknown to Kate, those verdicts were for the charges involving the other woman.
"When the first lot of verdicts came in, my whole body was shaking with anger. The local women who'd supported him were laughing. Then all of a sudden three guilty pleas came in. I didn't understand. My head was in a complete and utter state. My daughter said, 'Mum, these are yours.'
"It took a few days to sink in. Obviously I'm glad he was convicted, but nothing has actually changed in my life. I'm a lot happier in myself but you can't take those scars away. Unfortunately, his face is something I will never forget."
Kate had not expected the jail term to be as long as 12 years. "I was gobsmacked that after all these years he was found guilty, let alone anything else. I knew he was looking at 10 to 15 years, but I was worrying, 'What if they just give him a couple of years?' I'm glad I came forward, and I hope it gives other victims of abuse the courage to do the same."
When life is difficult, Samaritans are here – day or night, 365 days a year. You can call them for free on 116 123, email them at jo@samaritans.org,or visit www.samaritans.org to find your nearest branch.
Rape Crisis Scotland can be contacted between 5pm - midnight by calling 08088 01 03 02 or texting 07537410027
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