Shane MacGowan's widow felt "suicidal" after The Pogues frontman's death.
Irish writer Victoria Mary Clarke, 58, was left devastated after the 'Fairytale of New York' hitmaker died aged 65 on November 30, 2023, after battling pneumonia after a lengthy period of ill health, and she has now admitted she felt like she couldn’t go on without him.
Speaking to The Independent, she said: “There were obviously enormous amounts of desolation and despair.
“There were quite a few days where I thought that I definitely wanted to kill myself – I wanted to get out of here and go and be with him.”
Victoria sought help by phoning the Samaritans helpline for anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts and was lucky to have the support of her loved ones.
Describing the “physical” pain she felt amid her grief, she said: “I don’t think there’s a quick or easy way past [the grief].
“You just have to let yourself feel it. So there was a lot of howling and crying and feeling s*** – the symptoms are very physical, like a pain in your ribs – and you don’t want to get out of bed.
“My world was me and Shane most of the time. He looked after me, we looked after each other. We were complete.”
Among those to offer their support were the couple’s musical friends, Nick Cave and Bob Geldof, and the former suggested Victoria try plunging into an ice bath as cold water immersion is known for benefiting mental health.
She said: “I find people like Nick [Cave] and Bob Geldof very inspiring, they’re both creative and dynamic people.
“One of the tricks Nick recommended was getting into very cold water, like an ice bath. I suppose it shocks you into feeling that you do want to stay alive, because you fight the cold.”
