If there was one thing sure to strike fear into the heart of every '90s kid in Edinburgh, it was the prospect of spending the entire business end of your Saturday chumming your mum shopping up the town.
When the call came, you could moan about it all you liked, but there was little you could do to fight it. Still too young to go and do your own thing, your pre-pubescent self knew you had no other choice but to tag along and face hours of absolute torture visiting every single fashion and furniture emporium the length of Princes Street.
People may bemoan the loss of the department store in recent years, but make no mistake, the generation growing up now are the lucky ones. They'll never know the true meaning of boredom.
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Gone are the days of being dragged endlessly up and down the escalators of Littlewoods, C&A and Debenhams where mum would browse through rack after rack of clothing on every floor for what felt like an eternity - and God forbid if she bumped into someone she knew. The ensuing natter only prolonged the abject misery of the Saturday shop and compounded the pain building up in the soles of your already throbbing feet.
Even a wander was out the question, because you'd need to "stay where I can see you," so it was basically a case of moaning at your mum in the futile hope that she might put an end to the ordeal.
Yes, there were a select few who were fortunate enough to have an OG Gameboy, or maybe even a Beano to help ease the suffering, and, thankfully, some department stores had a toys department, which was basically manna from heaven in such circumstances, but all-in-all, Saturday shopping with your mum was the absolute pits.
C&A
If ever there was a store that epitomised the existential dread of a weekend up the town with mum in the '90s, it was C&A.
The women's clothing department at the Princes Store was absolutely massive and the fact that C&A lacked a toys department just added to the misery.
The store also did a formidable 'back-to-school' range, which meant a trip here in August was inevitable and a potent reminder that the fun and freedom of the summer holidays was well and truly over.
C&A's Edinburgh store closed for good in 2001 and is missed by no-one except for sadists.
British Home Stores
BHS sold everything from clothes and household goods to electrical items and furniture. It even had a cafeteria. All of this added up to the fact that you weren't leaving here any time soon. Pure evil.
The Princes Street store closed for good in 2016 after the company entered administration.
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Littlewoods
This department store was an absolute mum magnet and therefore an enemy to all children. The fact it had a killer pick 'n' mix counter was its one saving grace.
Littlewoods vanished in the 2000s, never to return.
Debenhams
Debenhams was similar to the other stores mentioned, except it had a huge selection of perfumes and fragrances on its ground floor. This served only to suffocate Edinburgh children and we haven't forgiven Debenhams for this.
The last Debenhams stores closed in 2021.
Fraser's
A trip to Fraser's was a special punishment indeed. The store was gigantic and it lacked escalators, which meant you either had to wait on the one tiny wee lift that was forever rammed or traipsing up endless flights of stairs.
The store was at the West End of Princes Street, which meant it either marked the start of your ordeal or the end. Either way, it was just brutal.
Jenners
Jenners was great, as the eye-watering price tags made mum's rack-browsing routine pleasingly swift. The toys department in the basement was also legendary and had loads of cool stuff you couldn't find anywhere else.
The Edinburgh institution sadly closed its doors for the final time in 2021.
John Menzies
Honorary mention this one, as it wasn't a chore to visit here whatsoever. Menzies sold loads of cool magazines comics and stationery, and had a toys, games, and records department in the basement. A visit here meant the tables had well and truly turned - now it was mum's turn to suffer!
We still haven't gotten over the closure of this wonderful store in 1998.
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