Senator Mary Seery Kearney said her daughter Scarlett sometimes asks about how she came into the world as a surrogate baby.
The Fine Gael politician revealed she told the seven-year-old: “You might not have been born from my womb, but you were born from my heart.”
Under current Irish law, Mary is not her daughter’s legal mother but all that is set to change.
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The Dubliner and her husband David welcomed their much-wanted daughter through a surrogate in India in May 2015.
After five miscarriages and 13 rounds of IVF, they decided to go down the surrogacy route and started the beginning of a new chapter.
Senator Seery Kearney was an instrumental part of the Oireachtas Surrogacy Committee and a keen supporter of having international surrogacy legislated for as part of the Assisted Human Reproduction Bill.
Under the current laws, she is not considered Scarlett’s legal mother.
Her husband is the father but the Senator is stuck in a state of legal limbo.
At the final Cabinet meeting of the year last month, the Government approved plans brought forward by ministers on rectifying the issue.
It will mean she will finally be considered Scarlett’s mother.
She told the Irish Mirror this is something she has yearned for since her daughter first arrived in Ireland.
Senator Seery Kearney said: “From the moment that we landed with our child, even though I’m on her birth certificate, I ceased having that recognition.
“When you sign something, you’re signing as a guardian, not a parent.
“It took us 15 months for David to get his parental order.
“I had to be a co-habitee for two years with my own child before I could apply for guardianship. David had to give his consent for that.
“You’re reminded all of the time that you are not in the eyes of the law what you know you are in your heart.
“If something goes wrong, if anything happens to my husband, my legal relationship with my child is precarious. Things flash through your head.
“We had a medical emergency – thankfully, not a serious one.
“I sat in the emergency room, thinking, ‘If this is fatal and if this is as serious as it could possibly be, where do I stand?’.
“I texted a solicitor to say, ‘We may need an interim court order’.
“How do I establish my husband’s consent?’ Every child needs certainty. Parents need that certainty. Surrogates need that certainty.” She said the new legislation will ensure surrogates have security.
The Senator added opening yourself up can lead to harsh comments from people.
She referenced Brian Dowling and Arthur Gourounlian, who welcomed daughter Blake through surrogacy earlier this year.
The couple previously revealed they had faced a raft of nasty comments when they announced they were having a baby.
Senator Seery Kearney said: “I see that sort of commentary that Arthur and Brian are getting, that they’re playing at being parents.
“Is that the accusation on me because I couldn’t carry my own child to full term? You go to that dark place.”
She added Brian and Arthur’s decision as well as other celebrities such as former Miss World Rosanna Davison, to speak so openly about surrogacy has been “really helpful”.
But the senator was keen to stress “very normal families go through surrogacy”.
She said: “Most people borrow, remortgage, do things like that.
“I’m thrilled and very grateful for how honest they have been in sharing their journey because it shows the joy, the love, the bond.
“The bond is just as strong as it would be if you gave birth yourself.”
Senator Seery Kearney added Scarlett is aware she was born through surrogacy and as she gets older, the questions become more complex.
She explained: “We have always said, ‘Mammy and daddy wanted to have a baby. Unfortunately, mammy wasn’t able to’.
“We have a book at home about the koala bear. My koala bear pouch didn’t work so we needed another koala bear to give us her pouch.
“It has developed into deeper conversations.
“We reassure her and say ‘She was born from my heart, if not my womb’.
“I hope in time she will be comfortable with it.”
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