A Scots student whose mother committed suicide ' completely out of the blue' has spoken of the heartache of finding a secret document detailing her darkest thoughts.
Rachael Turner was just 16 when her mum, Gail, passed away on July 22, 2015.
The marketing student found her 54-year-old mum at the bottom of their garden.
'Bubbly' Gail's death sent shockwaves through the local community – Muir of Ord, near Dingwall in the Highlands.
Rachael, her brother, Ross and dad George, now 22, 27 and 67 respectively, 'did not see it coming'.
But days after Gail's passing they found a secret document that revealed her deepest emotions.
In a bid to offer solace to other young Scots who lose a parent to suicide, Rachael opened up about her family's trauma and maintains 'there is hope'.
The inspirational student told the Record: "My mum was pure sunshine. She was so bubbly, you found her loud laugh funnier than the joke itself. She had no history of mental health issues whatsoever.
"She was a dedicated Health and Food Technology teacher at my high school. My mum cared deeply for students who struggled academically.
"We did not see this coming, that's what we struggled with the most; there was no way of helping her, we had no idea what was going on."
Rachael returned from a month-long volunteering trip to Tanzania in July 2015.
Elated Gail and George had recently waved Ross off to university.
Two days later, Rachel and George found Gail's body and were left utterly devastated.
"We desperately looked for answers," Rachael added.
"The day mum died, I turned her room upside down looking for a note.
"A few days later, we found a document that was well-hidden on her laptop.
"On it she wrote about suicidal thoughts, the stresses of her job and her emotions.
"It was all so traumatic and shocking."
News of Gail's tragic passed spread like wildfire, thrusting schoolgirl Rachael into a dark place she'd never previously known.
"A high school teacher with two children committed suicide - stuff like that didn't happen in the Highlands," she said.
"Ross and I were almost labelled as the kids whose mum killed herself, it was really hard.
"I was 16; I had a boyfriend, friend drama, exams, puberty, it was already a difficult time. I'm so close to my dad but I needed my mum."
Despite enduring such an ordeal, brave Rachael is now in her final year at Edinburgh Napier University and hopes to pursue a marketing career abroad.
Her dissertation, due in April, is dedicated to Gail.
"Over the years we have accepted that my mum wasn't well," Rachael said.
"I'm not over it, but I've not let it define me.
"Mum's death has shaped me. I have perspective and know life it too short to sweat the small stuff and have silly arguments.
"I have the most incredible friends and value good relationships."
To other young Scots faced with similar heartache, Rachael assures 'you will get through this'.
"Going to therapy and distracting yourself can help, but I would always urge someone grieving to allow themselves to feel their emotions," she added.
"Don't put pressure on yourself, that can lead to burnout.
"When my mum died I felt like nobody could relate or understand.
"I will always be happy to speak about mum, to help others going through the same thing
"There is always hope."
Parental Mental Health Day (PMHD) falls on January 27 this year and was introduced by stem4 (supporting teenage mental health).
The UK charity promotes positive mental health in teenagers and those who support them through mental health education, resilience strategies and early intervention.
A statement on their website read: "The past year has been like no other, with huge impact on young people’s mental health.
"PMHD encourages understanding and awareness of the importance of parents’ mental health and its impact on the whole family system.
"With this year’s theme being ‘balance’, the day aims to get parents and carers to take a moment to reflect on the balance they have in their lives and to take positive steps to make change."
Head to the stem4 website for more information.
You can contact the Samaritans 24 hours a day, seven days a week by calling 116 123 or by visiting their website.
