Saquon Barkley knows a little bit about dysfunctional relationships. After all, he did sign a one-year deal to return to the New York Giants after threatening a holdout related to the team’s use of the franchise tag.
So when he saw a Giants fan facing the similar breakup of a doomed relationship that could only be mended by material things, he stepped up to the plate. At training camp, one enterprising fan in a Barkley jersey rolled up with a posterboard sign advertising his outward loneliness and deep, tragic need for acceptance from a person who clearly wants nothing to do with him. The text within?
“SAQUON, my ex will take me back if you sign this.”
.@saquon did his part 😏
your move @ ex-girlfriend pic.twitter.com/vvJmKtfTQn
— New York Giants (@Giants) July 27, 2023
Oooof, guy. Bold move to show up to training camp advertising the boundaries of human frailty.
Successful signing gambit aside, that is not a person you want to be with. But the Giants, a club with no interest in paying the star running back responsible for the team’s rising star anything above the tragically low market value that has covered his position like a dense, undissipating fart, are probably not the team Barkley should be with either. Especially after failing to get an assurance that New York won’t simply franchise tag him again in 2024.
So the former rookie of the year, understanding the leverage-less feeling of trying to run on a frictionless surface, did his duty. He Sharpied the sign and endeared himself further to Giants fans. And left the rest of us to hope that our lonesome protagonist was merely playing up his situation to snag Saquon’s attention and grab an autograph.
Because if that text is even remotely true, hoooo buddy. That is very, very sad and it is time for some frank inward reflection.
