I used to know of someone who would try every year to lead the winning Grand National horse home at Aintree.
He would dress like a stable lad and amid the ensuing mayhem when the race finished, grab the winner’s reins and march it confidently to the winning enclosure.
A couple of times he made it, leaving us doubled up with laughter as the TV cameras were taken in by the centre-stage con man.
I thought of him on Tuesday during Prince Philip’s memorial service when Prince Andrew led his mother up the aisle of Westminster Abbey (after elbowing the Dean out of the way) and putting himself bang in the centre of the national spotlight again.
But I doubt many royals were laughing. Because how it looked, and what it said, was utterly abysmal. He wasn’t just allowed to escort the monarch to her seat by the way, but conscious that he is now unable to use his HRH title, the Queen decreed no other royal should be listed as HRH in the order of service. It was a callous and crude attempt to rehabilitate a disgraced man with an indecent haste by those at the top of this country.
It is barely a month since the royals agreed a £12million payout to Virginia Giuffre who alleged she was forced to have sex with Andrew after being trafficked by his paedophile friend Jeffrey Epstein. Allegations he denies but allegations that he halted being tested in court by paying his accuser.
The royals pushing him back into the centre of national consciousness as though nothing had happened was a kick in the teeth for every woman who has ever been abused and felt powerless to do anything about it.
As Nazir Afzal, former Chief Crown Prosecutor for North West England, who specialises in cases of child sexual exploitation tweeted in reference to Andrew’s appearance: “I’m all for rehabilitation but it starts with facing justice, accepting responsibility and working to rebuild victims’ confidence. None of that is present here so far.”
Allowing the Queen’s son to be her escort in such a public way said we royals do what we want because we are above you all. That the stripping of Andrew’s titles and honours was a pretence. It said we may live in an era when accusations of sexual harassment against high-profile men drives them into obscurity, but it’s OK. The one accused here is the Queen’s son. He’s got superior blood.
Also, Virginia Giuffre was held as a sex slave by Andrew’s friend, whom he visited on many occasions. Did the link not occur to a family that had just walked into a huge row in the Caribbean about their role in the slave trade?
Did The Firm not imagine, after that catastrophic image of an aloof William and Kate driving through Jamaica in all their colonial finery, how appalling this would look?
I think William did, as he looked as exasperated and uncomfortable sitting in a row behind his disgraced uncle in the Abbey as he had on that Caribbean tour.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he was wondering what the point of it all was and whether it’s right to force his kids into being players in this antiquated circus.
You can but hope.