Welcome back to a new Premier League season, where one man's crystal ball is another man's wrecking ball.
Yes, it's that time of year where Headmaster Sav delivers his pre-season verdict on each pupil in the top set. Manchester United and Leeds fans may want to look away now, while Leicester and Fulham's homework over the summer is a cause for concern and the title is likely to be contested by the usual suspects.
Don't forget: The transfer window doesn't shut for another three weeks, and we will only have a true picture of each team's squad depth when they show their hands next month. And it's just a bit of fun – my opinion counts no more or less than yours. Whoever you support, have a great season.
MANCHESTER CITY
Champions in four of the last five seasons, they have added Erling Haaland, Julian Alvarez and Kalvin Phillips... so they are going to be the team to beat again. After winning the title for the last two years with a false No.9, they are going to be even more dangeorus with an authentic centre forward.
Key player: Erling Haaland
Title odds: 8-13 fav
Prediction: Champions again
LIVERPOOL
All of a sudden, the best front three in Europe has had a makeover – and out of Sadio Mane, Roberto Firmino and Mo Salah, only Salah is left in Jurgen Klopp's likeliest starting XI. But the prospect of Luis Diaz, Darwin Nunez and the Egyptian king causing havoc is exciting. In the title race they will be close... but not cigar again.
Key player: Darwin Nunez
Title odds: 2-1
Prediction: Runners-up
CHELSEA
Raheem Sterling and Kalidou Koulibaly are top-class signings, and it looks as if Marc Cucurella is on the way from Brighton. But, but, but... although the club's owners may have changed, the model is likely to remain the same. Thomas Tuchel didn't win anything last season (apart from a low-grade pot in the desert) and he will be under pressure if they don't start well.
Key player: Mason Mount
Title odds: 16-1
Prediction: 3rd
TOTTENHAM
Antonio Conte has had the best transfer window of all this summer, bringing in six new players and giving the squad more depth ahead of Spurs' return to Champions League orbit. They may not have enough to dislodge City and Liverpool from the top two, but they can only get better. When Conte means business, it's always fun to watch.
Key player: Heung-min Son
Title odds: 14-1
Prediction: 4th
ARSENAL
Gabriel Jesus is a fantastic addition to Mikel Arteta's front line, and with Eddie Nketiah maturing fast as a proven goalscorer at the highest level, the Gunners will be hard to contain. They look stronger on paper than last season, when the next setback always seemed to be just around the corner, but it may not be enough to break back into the top four.
Key player: Bukayo Saka
Title odds: 33-1
Prediction: 5th
MANCHESTER UNITED
Can they recover from their worst Premier League season? And will Cristiano Ronaldo still be a United player when the transfer window closes? To finish in the top four, the number-crunchers say you need to score 76 goals – but without CR7, I don't think United have enough goals in that side. If new boss Erik ten Hag gets them back in the Champions League, he's done a great job.
Key player: Cristiano Ronaldo
Title odds: 25-1
Prediction: 6th
NEWCASTLE
The richest club in the world are laying the foundations for a march on Europe, with England keeper Nick Pope and defender Sven Botman ideal recruits to improve the team's spine. The only way is up on Tyneside, and they could be the most wealthy club in the Europa Conference League next season.
Key player: Bruno Guimaraes
Title odds: 80-1
Prediction: 7th
CRYSTAL PALACE
The more I saw of Palace in Patrick Vieira's first season in charge, the more I liked them. The front three of Wilf Zaha, Jean-Philippe Mateta and Michael Olise is genuinely exciting, and they have definite top-half potential.
Key player: Michael Olise
Title odds: 500-1
Prediction: 8th
BRIGHTON
Although the Seagulls have lost Yves Bissouma to Tottenham and Marc Cucurella looks like flying the nest, head coach Graham Potter's ability to regenerate, reorganise and reinvigorate his squad has been so impressive. They finished ninth last season, and I can see them doing so again.
Key player: Lewis Dunk
Title odds: 250-1
Prediction: 9th
WEST HAM
To finish sixth and seventh in consecutive seasons, with basically one striker – Michail Antonio – holding the fort was a remarkable achievement, as was holding on to skipper Declan Rice this summer. I expect Jarrod Bowen to go to the World Cup with England, but the top six may be a step too far this time.
Key player: Declan Rice
Title odds: 150-1
Prediction: 10th
ASTON VILLA
Glass half-full or half-empty? I know manager Steven Gerrard will not be content to float in mid-table, and the arrivals of Diego Carlos and Boubacar Kamara will make them more solid, but Villa may have to settle for steady progress rather than a quantum leap up the table from 14th last term.
Key player: Philippe Coutinho
Title odds: 250-1
Prediction: 11th
NOTTINGHAM FOREST
I have a sneaking feeling they might surprise a few people, as Sheffield United and Brentford did after winning promotion. It's never easy to establish a pattern after 13 new signings, and they may not see a lot of the ball in some games, but Jesse Lingard will hurt teams on the break.
Key player: Dean Henderson
Title odds: 750-1
Prediction: 12th
BRENTFORD
Get ready for all the cliches about second season syndrome, and losing out to Manchester United for Christian Eriksen's services was a bodyblow after the Dane's massive influence on their recovery from a worrying run of four points from a possible 33. But I think they will be OK.
Key player: Ivan Toney
Title odds: 750-1
Prediction: 13th
EVERTON
If we use last season's close shave with relegation as a yardstick, and add the loss of top scorer Richarlison, arguably it would be an even bigger achievement for manager Frank Lampard to keep them up again – especially if Dominic Calvert-Lewin is going to miss the first six weeks through injury.
Key player: James Tarkowski
Title odds: 250-1
Prediction: 14th
WOLVES
I'm fairly sure Wolves are too good to go down – but I'm far from convinced it will be a comfortable ride. They have had a low-key transfer window, with Nathan Collins arriving from Burnley to boost the defence, but they may be looking over their shoulders in 2023.
Key player: Joao Moutinho
Title odds: 250-1
Prediction: 15th
LEICESTER
What is going on at the King Power? The Foxes have lost Kasper Schmeichel to Nice, and there are concerns that Wesley Fofana, James Maddison, Youri Tielemans and even Jamie Vardy might be next out of the door. Lose two of those four and they might be in trouble – but if all four stay, they will be fine. Why have they not bought a single player this summer?
Key player: James Maddison
Title odds: 200-1
Prediction: 16th
SOUTHAMPTON
Saints were dropping like a stone at the back end of last season – one win in the last 12 - and wholesale changes to manager Ralph Hasenhuttl's coaching staff may only have rearranged the deckchairs on the Titanic. But there might just be three worse teams than them.
Key player: James Ward-Prowse
Title odds: 500-1
Prediction: 17th
LEEDS
Jesse Marsch just about dodged a bullet in May, but it was mighty close – and losing Raphinha's flair, and Kalvin Phillips anchoring the midfield, won't help. Marsch has spent a lot of money – around £90 million – on seven new faces, but none excites me and I'm sorry to say Leeds might be going down.
Key player: Patrick Bamford
Title odds: 500-1
Prediction: 18th
FULHAM
It's not a good sign when head coach Marco Silva complains about his squad being too thin, and his team being “not ready” for the challenge of Premier League survival, in the week before the big kick-off. He may be getting his excuses in early for a relegation battle.
Key player: Aleksandar Mitrovic
Title odds: 1,000-1
Prediction: 19th
AFC BOURNEMOUTH
There is no shame in a club of Bournemouth's history embarking on their sixth Premier League campaign in eight seasons, and I hope they defy the odds to make it seven in nine. But do they have enough quality to survive? I doubt it.
Key player: Lloyd Kelly
Title odds: 1,500-1
Prediction: 20th