Rio Ferdinand has candidly admitted he cringes when people draw comparison between his current wife Kate and his late wife Rebecca.
The 44-year-old former footballer was married to Rebecca Ellison from 2009 until her death in 2015. Rio and Rebecca share three children; Lorenz, 16, Tate, 14, and 12-year-old Tia together. He then wed Kate, 31, in September 2019.
Although it's been four years since they tied the knot and six years since they began dating in 2017, Rio revealed some people in their life occasionally make "comparisons" between Rebecca and Kate.
Speaking candidly in a new episode Kate's Blended podcast, Kate asked her husband of four years how he feels when people compare her to Rebecca, who died following a battle with breast cancer in 2015.
He said: "It's cringey man. If I feel there's a comparison coming in or whatever or I feel that it's in the conversation or it's insinuated I automatically just look at you. And I almost wanna go, 'right shut your ears' and move you on from the situation but obviously you can't do that all the time. It is difficult but then sometimes you've got to play the part of understanding the person that is putting that across and where they're at with the situation.
"Some people just don't understand that certain words they're using or the language they're using could be found to be offensive, it could be destabilising, it could be very negative from the person on your side of the table."
Kate then admitted there is a "fine line" between her loving "hearing stories" about Rebecca and feeling like "enough's enough".
She then revealed that a story someone shared with her about how Rio helped Rebecca during the labour with one of their three children came back to haunt her when she was giving birth to their son Cree, two.
Kate recalled: "At the beginning I was bombarded with information about everything – even down to when we were having Cree, someone told me about how you would in the labour with Rebecca and one of the kids.
"I think sometimes people tell you an innocent but of information – and you don't take it in at that precise moment – that they think you might want to hear.
"So I didn't take it in at that moment but it stored somewhere in the back of my head and when I come into a similar situation when I'm giving birth to Cree and I'm looking at you thinking of this bit of information that I didn't really wanna know.
"It's hard, in my situation, to cling onto the things that are good and use them in a positive way with the children but also not have too much information on you life that affects me mentally with me and you."
Elsewhere in the honest conversation between the husband and wife, Kate admitted feeling like a "side chick" on occasion during the beginning of their romance.
Kate said now she feels "secure" but when they first got together she felt differently.
She said: "I'm secure, but what used to happen is I was dating you – we might have been engaged – but I wasn't your wife so whenever you talk about your wife everyone would say Rebecca. So I kind of felt I was this side woman, just here..."
Rio said: "Side chick, yeah? You felt like a side chick."
Kate joked: "I was a bloody good side chick I was looking after the three kids and doing everything!"
She then added: "But I felt like a bit of a side chick because everyone would say: 'Your wife, your wife' so now I feel quite confident I am your wife, we're secure and the wedding changed a lot for me, I think, so I can deal with things like that now.
"And I'm more mature, I was younger, it was a lot to take in – sometimes I think the way I reacted to things might not have been good but I can look back on that and see that but there was so much emotion. But, I think, you can't beat yourself up at those times we were all going through it."
As well as feeling like the other woman at times, Kate revealed her surprise when she discovered Rio hadn't changed anything or moved any of Rebecca's belongings when she first went to his mansion.
Kate was introduced to Rio's children before she visited the family home, but she explained the most surprising thing about her new romance stepping up a gear wasn't meeting the kids.
She said: "I never really realised what I was stepping into until I first come into this house because [laughs] I'm laughing because I don't know if anyone feels similar that listens but we were smitten, we were going out, we were dating. I hadn't really experienced being a stepmum, I hadn't experienced your life, all the loss you'd gone through."
The former The Only Way Is Essex star recalled coming into the house and thinking "s**t this is gonna be hard".
Kate explained how Rio "hadn't moved anything" in the house since Rebecca's death.
He added: "And even when you was here and you was probably bumping into things, seeing things from my previous life because I hadn't even changed anything in the house at that point – nothing had changed and the fact that I was bringing you into that, I didn't even compute that, probably, out of courtesy to you I need to just manoeuvre the house a little bit to make it a softer landing moving in, I was just in a bubble of 'this is where we're going' and I didn't even think of your feelings – even things like the bathroom; shower gel."
Rio then added that now, looking back, he thinks "how didn't I realise", "how didn't I sort things out in my house before bringing you there" but he admitted he was "took over by all sorts of emotions".
However, the blended family have "come really far" since first establishing where they each fit in the new dynamic.
Kate revealed: "I look at the family now and how far we've come and for anyone thinking, 'I just couldn't even imagine my step kids listening to me' I think consistency..."
Rio added: "Consistency and a partnership."
"And a partnership," Kate agreed. "And we are in a good place, they do their jobs, we all laugh about it, I help them, I take their plates up and do little bits. We all slate dad because he just goes and sits on the sofa..."
Rio interjected: "I do the odd job though tell the truth!"
Kate said: "You're a very good husband I must say and you do help with cooking sometimes and I'm very grateful for that, very, but there's certain everyday things you don't even see or do."
