They were the unforgettable adverts designed to make an entire generation of young Scots think twice about the dangers of smoking, alcohol and drugs.
In the late ‘90s and early ‘00s, the Scottish Government and Health Education Board Scotland (HEBS) commissioned a series of television adverts that utilised memorable dialogue and hard-hitting visuals to help tackle a range of health issues affecting young people.
Known for their high production values, the HEBS adverts, of which there were 11 in total, devised lots of clever ways to get their message across, even producing their own parody music video that ended up being released as an actual chart single due to public demand.
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The iconic adverts were broadcast during an era when the number of young Scots turning to cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs was shown to be significantly higher than in other European countries.
In 1998, health stats revealed that a third of Scottish teenagers were drinking on a weekly basis, compared with just 27 per cent of young Belgians and 24 per cent of French teens. HEBS warned at the time that the data showed that Scots schoolkids were the least confident in Europe and at greater risk of suffering from depression and loneliness.
Packed with catchphrases, the HEBS ads proved to be very popular with their core demographic and a multitude of quotable lines soon became repeated in schools up and down the country.
There was also a local link, with the legendary adverts being the creation of Glasgow advertising agency The Bridge. Let's take a closer look at some of the most memorable ads.
'Yer only smokin' it'
This was one of the early HEBS ads and one of the most harrowing as we witness a young man's descent into heroin addiction.
We are in a living room with a group of young males, when the youngest, Stuart, is asked if he would like a 'wee toot'. "What, heroin?," Stuart asks. "Aye, smack - yer only smokin' it," replies the first man.
A lighter flickers, eerie music starts up and the screen splits into two. The left frame shows Stuart opting for the drugs, while in an alternate universe, on the other side of the screen, Stuart shakes his head.
Things go from bad to worse for the Stuart who took the heroin, while his alter ego leads a healthy and normal life.
The 20-second-long ad ends with a heroin-addicted Stuart having lost everything and on the streets.
We revert back to a single screen once more as Stuart turns to his healthy-looking self and asks: "Any spare change, pal?".
It's brilliantly done.
Awash in cigarettes
In this early HEBS anti-smoking ad, a young woman is taking a shower as smoked cigarettes and ash ooze from her hair. She goes to pay for something at the shop, only for her purse to be filled with used cigarette ends. She snogs a boy at a party and the boy is repelled as he chucks up a load of nasty-looking ciggies.
Not very cool this smoking malarky, is it?
'This tastes boggin''
A massive effort was put in for HEBS' first animated advert which featured an alien civilisation addicted to chewing on blue sticks. The blue sticks tasted disgusting, made the aliens' breaths smell, and were toxic, causing them huge harm.
In spite of the damage they were doing to themselves, the aliens continued to chew the blue sticks until one of them, who was trying one for the first time, immediately spat their stick out and declared: "This tastes boggin'!".
Message received, loud and clear, HEBS - we definitely won't be chewing any blue sticks.
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'It's yet another mystery of the universe'
In a repackaging of the blue sticks theme, a one-eyed alien arrives on Earth and is perplexed that the planet is inhabited by a supposedly intelligent lifeform that knowingly inhales "oral applicators" that wreck their health and reduce their chances of finding a mate. To be fair, it really is one of the universe's greatest mysteries.
'Sarah, ah really fancy you, so how about it, eh?'
In this HEBS effort, we are introduced to a young guy practising his chat-up line in the mirror for the girl he fancies. At the party, however, he sinks one too many and, as a result, sadly fails to impress Sarah.
The 'ah really fancy you' catchphrase briefly made life hell for all schoolgirls in Scotland named Sarah as their classmates insisted on repeating it ad infinitum for months on end.
'Should've seen the state of her'
Love is in the air for a blonde-haired secondary student as she locks eyes with the boy she likes while walking down the school corridor. Unfortunately, she had a wee bit too much to drink at a house party over the weekend, and ended up spewing up in the bathroom, a fact she is all too cruelly reminded of as the boy passes her and remarks to his mates: "Should've seen the state of her on Saturday night".
Stinx
HEBS and The Bridge pulled out all the stops for this anti-smoking ad, which featured fictional girl group, Stinx, who are more than partial to a cigarette and can't quite understand why all the boys are running for the hills.
The advert and accompanying song, which sounded more than a little like Britney Spears, won many plaudits and even became a single due to public demand, reaching number eight on the Scottish pop charts in 2001.
This article was originally published in January 2022.
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