Reality TV star Dani Dyer is sharing her experiences as a first-time mother and the challenges she faced in an effort to help other new parents.
The 25-year-old, who shot to fame on the 2018 series of ITV show Love Island, became a single mother to son Santiago in 2021. The daughter of EastEnders actor Danny Dyer, who has now been made an ambassador for the BBC's Tiny Happy People, has revealed she often questioned herself after becoming a new parent.
During the first year with Santiago, Dani says she spent a lot of time comparing herself to other parents. Some of the questions she asked herself were 'are you doing ‘the parent thing’ right? Is everyone judging how you’re coping? Is the life you knew pre-baby gone forever? How can you meet other parents in the same situation?"
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She added: "I honestly wasn't prepared for the rush of hormones. It was a little bit hard for me at the beginning. I really did struggle.
"I remember when Santi was born, all I did was compare, and I always used to think, 'Why can't I breastfeed?' I really, really struggled with that. And I put so much pressure on myself.
"I shouldn't have compared so much. I shouldn't have looked online. I should have just enjoyed my baby bubble and just gone with it."
Being in lockdown only added to the challenges. Dani said: "It was hard for me because I felt like I didn't have other mum friends that I could go and see and talk to. You want to talk to other mums, you want to know how they're getting on, and just having that positive support around you is so important."
Having a good support system really helped Dani, especially as a single parent, she said. "I think being a mum can sometimes be really lonely, and it is important to speak out and share that," she added.
A major part of Dani’s support system is her own mum, Joanne. Whenever she has needed advice or reassurance, her mum has been there to lend a hand. Dad Danny Dyer is also relishing his new role as a grandad.
"The way they have been there for me is honestly, just such a dream," she said. "There have been some long nights, if Santi’s not been well, where I really struggled and I’ve just needed to have a chat or a sleep in the afternoon. And they’ve been there for me. Knowing I've got them, I am blessed with that."
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While Dani has found support from her fellow mum friends and her family, she has also found strength within herself. She said: "I’ve definitely learned that I am a lot stronger than I thought I was. At the beginning, I really did doubt myself being a mum, but now I've definitely changed and grown as a person."
BBC Tiny Happy People is an online digital, social and face to face initiative created by BBC Education. It was launched in July 2020 by The Duchess of Cambridge and its aim is to support parents in developing the language and communication skills of their children from birth to age four.
Its resources include activity films for babies, toddlers and pre-schoolers that support language development, articles with tips and advice on all things parenting and a child development section that covers the science behind brain development and how little ones learn about the world around them.
The resources have been developed with the help of leading experts in the fields of child and language development. For more information about BBC Tiny Happy People, visit their website here.
