A paramedic raped by a stranger in Melbourne has spoken about the aftermath of her attack, suggesting the physical assault was only the first part of a dehumanising and traumatic saga.
The woman was on a night out at Crown Casino when she met a man who walked with her alongside the Yarra River.
He said he'd take her back to the venue at her request, only for him to ultimately corner her in a toilet block, pin her arms and rape her against a wall.
Neither the victim nor her attacker can be named for legal reasons.
In a victim impact statement, the then-23-year-old woman said she awoke that day in February 2020 not knowing it was the last time she would do so with her right to say "no" intact.
She turned down toast that morning, and said no to catching up with a friend. When her mother later cracked open a particular bottle of sparkling wine, she remarked it must have been a special occasion.
It ultimately was, but for all the wrong reasons, she said.
The woman recalled sitting in the back of a police car watching officers declare a crime scene - "my crime scene" - and a heater being turned up so high she felt sick.
"I closed my eyes in hope it was all a bad dream and I would wake up any second now," she said in Melbourne's County Court on Wednesday.
"My body was screaming, 'help me'."
She was then plunged into a cold, dark room at the Royal Women's Hospital, presented with paperwork, and "touched all over" for the second time that day, with staff swabbing her vagina, breasts, and underneath her fingernails.
When she was finally allowed to urinate, she had to do so in a cup to collect evidence. When she was permitted to shower: "I wanted to take my body off like the dress I was wearing and leave it in the evidence bag in the hospital like everything else."
The woman didn't believe the case would go to trial, thinking her attacker would own up, but it did.
She recalled having to remember her rape in "painful" detail, and facing aggressive questioning in court during cross-examination dissecting her memory.
"After the physical assault, I was assaulted with questioning designed to invalidate my ability to recall the facts," she said.
She ultimately assumed the identity that lawyers forced on her - the young, intoxicated woman.
Since then, it has taken years for her to rebuild herself, she said.
"For two years, I have lived in a constant state of crippling anxiety. It is beyond exhausting."
She told her attacker: "You should have never done this to me. You should never have made me fight for this long."
The woman urged the rapist to accept he had upturned his own life. He had decades ahead to rewrite his story, she said.
Judge Daniel Holding granted a pseudonym order protecting the man's identity, after lawyers argued he faces deportation to Saudi Arabia and as a result there may be genuine fears for his safety if he returns.
Pseudonym orders operate in effectively the same way as suppression orders but are not governed by the strict legal tests in the Open Courts Act.
The man, who a jury found guilty of rape, sexual assault and directing the woman to do sexual activity, will be sentenced next year.
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