The Conservative MP Lee Anderson made a statement over Christmas, that he was watching a programme about the wonderful comic Les Dawson on television.
The MP explained that, as Les would “Make left-wingers go into meltdown… I’m not sure he’d be allowed on TV these days.”
So an MP, the elected representative for thousands of people, was convinced Les Dawson wouldn’t be allowed on television, while he was watching him on television.
This is a worry. Because the most likely explanation is that Mr Anderson didn’t realise he was watching the television. He must have thought that Les was appearing on his fridge.
Maybe this happens regularly. He watches Strictly Come Dancing and screams: “This is marvellous. But it wouldn’t be allowed on television these days, as there aren’t enough lesbians on it. That’s why I have to watch it on my lawn mower.”
The other possible reason he thinks the thing he’s watching wouldn’t be allowed on these days, is he doesn’t realise he’s living in these days.
Perhaps he thinks he’s in 1975.
This makes sense because he’s the same MP who, earlier this year, said people shouldn’t use foodbanks, as it’s easy to cook a meal for 30 pence.
He was criticised for this, but if he was convinced it’s 1975 he was probably right. If one of his constituents tells him they can’t afford the rent, he says: “Nonsense. You’ve got £40 a month, so you can buy a cottage in the Cotswolds and have enough left over for plenty of corned beef with Cadbury’s Instant Smash.”
To be fair to Mr Anderson, he’s no more confused than people who make similar claims.
Every year there are Conservatives who scream: “In these mad woke times we can’t even say Happy Christmas anymore!!! I said Happy Christmas to a teacher at my son’s school, and he looked at me as if I was mad!
“I told him this is BRITAIN, and we say Happy Christmas whether he and his so-called ‘progressive’ friends like it or not. He replied: ‘But it’s the second week in August.’ This is the sort of multicultural nonsense we need to stand up to!!!”
Or a newspaper claims: “Local council fines the weather £50 for not making a rainbow during Gay Pride week.” Most days some Tory councillor makes a complaint such as: “Apparently we can’t say someone has been bitten by a mosquito any more, as it’s offensive to Muslims. Now we have to call them ‘insects that may go to any place of worship’. Even though I made this up it still makes me FURIOUS.”
But the biggest tragedy would be if Lee Anderson thinks he’s in the 1970s AND confuses his TV with his fridge.
Because he must rub his hands in excitement at the huge meal he’s going to make for thirty pence.
Then he goes to the fridge to get the mince for a spaghetti bolognese, and can’t find it, unaware that he has unscrewed the back of his television.
