She sees another woman in an elevator and says, “I love your shoes.” She tells the woman standing ahead of her in a coffee line that her haircut looks amazing. She notices someone's unusual earrings on the train and simply says so, even though they may never meet again. Women who comfortably compliment other women they don't know are doing something that appears almost effortless, but psychology suggests the interaction contains an interesting combination of prosocial behavior, social risk, positive reinforcement and interpersonal connection. Research on compliments has found that people systematically underestimate how good their praise will make another person feel. That means the woman who simply says the nice thing she is thinking may be overcoming a psychological barrier that stops many other people from speaking at all.
