You’re so good at explaining these things. Could you quickly look at this for me?” “Nobody organizes events as well as you do. Can you help me plan this one?” “You always give the best advice. What do you think I should do?” Most of us have encountered some version of this conversational sequence: compliment first, request second. Sometimes the praise is completely sincere. Sometimes it may be strategic without the speaker even consciously realizing it. Psychology suggests the pattern can work because compliments interact with reciprocity, ingratiation, compliance and interpersonal influence.
In fact, experimental research has found that receiving a compliment can make people more likely to comply with a subsequent request. Intriguingly, the mechanism may not simply be that praise makes us like the person asking.
