There is a noticeable difference between being told “You’re amazing” and hearing “The way you explained that difficult point made it much easier to understand.” Both are compliments, but the second can feel as though the person actually paid attention.
That distinction may help explain one of the less obvious behaviours associated with socially engaging people. Charisma is often imagined as confidence, humour or the ability to command a room. But sometimes it appears in something much smaller, the ability to notice one particular thing about another person and put it into words.
