If you’ve ever refused to take off a necklace belonging to your late grandmother, or felt a small ache after losing a ring from someone you once loved, you’re not being dramatic. A 1988 study by consumer researcher Russell Belk, ‘Possessions and the Extended Self,’ published in the Journal of Consumer Research, found that the things we own, including jewelry, often become part of who we are, not just accessories we wear.
In the abovementioned paper, Belk argues that the self extends beyond the body and mind. It reaches out into the things, the people, the places that we call ours. He refers to this as the "extended self." Jewelry is one of the few everyday objects that literally embody that idea, resting on the body itself, being frequently given as a gift, and rarely thrown away.
Why a ring can feel like a piece of you
This same research also shows that people don’t just use their possessions; they psychologically incorporate them into their identity. Belk cites previous psychological studies in which people were asked to categorize items on a scale from “not self” to “self.” Personal belongings were generally rated very close to body parts and personal traits and well above things like furniture or scenery.
Jewelry fits squarely into the ways Belk describes objects being folded into our sense of self. It is something we wear, touch, never take off, and build meaning around through everyday habit. It is also often a gift, and this paper finds that gifts from loved ones are particularly likely to be seen as an extension of both the giver and the receiver, because they come with a part of the giver's identity.
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