I want to be transparent: I am asking this question, not answering it. I have been out and dating in the queer community for less than five years and in that time I’ve only had one serious same-sex relationship which, apart from the fact that I am no longer in it, I would count as a success. But despite being a (self-identified) catch, things are a bit quiet on the prospects front. Of course, the odds are not in the favour of single queer folk in comparison to those looking for heterosexual love. According to the latest ONS data, just over 3% of the population in the UK identify as LGB+ (Lesbian, Gay or Bisexual), which translates to around 1.5million of the UK population aged 16 years old and over (24% of whom are currently married or in a civil partnership). Once you’ve split these by gender, sexual orientation, age and personal preference, the chances of being in the vicinity of your perfect match feels fairly slim.
And so to our first ‘how’. Being closer to that one in a million is a good way to start. The 2021 census also identified where the biggest groups of LGB+ people live, so if you’re feeling like ‘the only gay in the village’, you can literally go online and check if you’re right. The highest density of queer folk can be found in London, Manchester, Brighton and Bristol, all of which have areas where the queer population sits above 10%. Moving might be a bit drastic, but you could try signing up for some queer nights in those locations and planning a weekender. I’m an out-of-towner and met my ex-girlfriend in London’s only lesbian bar, locking eyes across the dancefloor: a millennial move in a bar full of Gen-Z baby queers (in contrast to this geriatric baby-queer starting out a little later in life).
