One of the many ways that friends make us happy is they celebrate our victories. However, when Reddit user Creepystuffthrow got engaged to the man she was dating, her bestie wasn’t stoked about it. On the contrary.
Taking to the ‘Am I the [Jerk?]‘ community, the woman expressed her sorrow about the unexpected turn of events that followed the joyous occasion.
Bitter and jealous, the lady not only told the fiancé that Creepystuffthrow was too unattractive for him, but also had the nerve to suggest herself as a potential partner instead.
Your best friend is supposed to be a pillar of trust and support
Image credits: AllGo / pexels (not the actual photo)
But recently, this woman learned that her bestie tried to steal her fiancé
Image credits: Thirdman / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ron Lach / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: creepystuffthrow
Is all really fair in love and war?
I think we all can agree that trying to steal another person’s partner is one of the worst indiscretions in romance.
But why do Julie and other people do it? A 2022 study published in the Journal of Sex Research looked at 187 heterosexual married couples to find an answer to that question.
First, each participant rated their and their partner’s personalities and summarized their own poaching experiences. The researchers then evaluated each person according to the Big Five and Dark Triad personality traits. (The Big Five traits are extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, neuroticism, and openness to new experiences; the Dark Triad includes narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism.)
The researchers discovered that men with low levels of conscientiousness and high levels of Machiavellianism were most likely to attempt to poach someone’s partner, but men who had the most success with this had high levels of psychopathy and low agreeableness.
“Higher psychopathy and Machiavellianism … proved to be the most important predictors of poaching experiences in both men and women,” the study said.
Machiavellianism is characterized by interpersonal manipulation, deceit, cynicism, and lack of morality, while psychopathy is defined as having a deficiency in emotional responses, a lack of empathy, and poor behavior controls.
On the other hand, the women most successful at poaching showed high extraversion, openness, and psychopathy.
However, according to David Tzall, PsyD, a licensed psychologist based in Brooklyn, personality traits aren’t the only factors that cause poaching. Confidence can also play a part.
“An individual might also poach because they do not think highly of themselves,” he told Best Life. “By befriending another and lying in wait, you do not have to be vulnerable from the get-go and lay the groundwork for a relationship.”
So Julie’s attempt to undermine her best friend’s relationship reflects not just jealousy, but also a lack of moral and emotional integrity.
Image credits: Polina Tankilevitch / pexels (not the actual photo)
People unanimously said that the author of the post was absolutely entitled to her reaction
