The jury in the trial of a nurse accused of murdering seven babies at there hospital where she worked have been shown a note in which she wrote: “I am evil I did this”.
The post-it note was found at the home of Lucy Letby, who is also alleged to have tried to kill another seven babies, a court has heard.
A picture of the note show phrases including “I don’t deserve to live” and “I killed them on purpose because I’m not good enough” scrawled on the paper.
“Hate” is seen written in block capitals with heavy ink and circled, while the note is headed “Not good enough”.
A jury at Manchester Crown Court was shown the note on which it is claimed Letby also wrote words such as “hate myself”, “panic”, “fear”, “lost” and “I feel very alone and scared”.
The 32-year-old denies murdering five boys and two girls and attempting to murder another five boys and five girls at the Countess of Chester Hospital between June 2015 and June 2016. She is alleged to have tried to kill some of the babies more than once.
The post-it note was among other papers and notes said to have been found at her home containing “many protestations of innocence”, Nick Johnson KC, prosecuting, told the jury.
Mr Johnson said: “She wrote, ‘I don’t deserve to live. I killed them on purpose because I’m not good enough to care for them’, ‘I am a horrible evil person’ and in capital letters ‘I am evil I did this’.”
Other notes found included phrases such as “Why/how has this happened – what process has led to this current situation. What allegations have been made and by who?” and “Do they have written evidence to support their comments?” the prosecutor said.
He added: “Well, ladies and gentlemen, that in a nutshell is your task in this case. Whether or not she did these dreadful things is the decision you will have to make when you have heard all the evidence.”
Ben Myers KC, defending Letby, insisted the notes showed his client’s “anguish not guilt”, telling the jury they were the “outpouring of a young woman when she learnt she was being accused of killing children, that she’d done her best to care for”.
