The Tuareg, as you’ll know, are the nomadic people of the Sahara, also known as The Blue Men because of the blue headdresses which dye their skin.
I don’t know how many times I’ve told them to use salt as a fixative, but I once walked across the Sahara with a Tuareg guide to raise money for charity.
Every morning at dawn, I’d crawl out of my tent to find him rustling up a perfect omelette for breakfast.
“A salaam aleikum, Mohammed,” I would mutter sleepily, holding my hand over my heart.
“Wa alaikum salaam, Moustache!” he would reply brightly, handing me a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice.
He always called me Moustache, being impressed that like most Arabs I had one, since one of the worst curses in Arabic is: “May Allah steal your moustache.”
After breakfast, I would wind my length of blue cloth into the headdress as he’d taught me and we would set off across the burning sands.
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Which brings me, naturally, to the Aprilia Tuareg 660, a midrange adventure bike which uses the fabulous engine from the RS 660, basically the front half of the one from that ballistic missile the Aprilia RSV4.
Where the RS 660 is compact and muscular, the Tuareg is its lanky brother who plays basketball – tall and slim, with a narrow seat to make standing on the pegs for off-road hooliganism easier.
Even though I’m 6ft 7ins, it took a bit of a swing to get my leg over the saddle, so any leprechauns out there can stop reading now and make a nice cup of tea instead.
On board, the seat’s as firm as it looks, more of which later, the mirrors are brilliant and the TFT screen is small compared with the 10.25in ones on some bigger BMWs these days, but more than adequate, with all the info you need at a glance, including what riding mode you’re in.
Rather weirdly, these are called Urban, Explore, Individual for bespoke tweaking and Off-Road, which turns off the traction control and rear ABS to let your back end go wild. As it were.
Although the engine’s been tuned down from the 100bhp of the RS 660 to 80bhp for more user-friendly off-road use, and the Tuareg is 204kg compared with the183kg of the RS, acceleration is still brisk in Urban mode, and gloriously satisfying in Explore – as evidenced by a message I got from a biking buddy later.
“Here, was that you on the Tuareg going around the Armagh roundabout then disappearing into the distance earlier? That bike can shift!” he said.
He wasn’t wrong – and that lusty performance is accompanied by a gloriously visceral growl from that peach of an engine.
But the best bit is the brilliant handling. With that light weight, slim profile and high, wide bars, I was carving corners like Valentino Rossi, except older and less Italian.
The clutch is featherlight, the six-speed gearbox firm and precise, and braking, with two big discs up front, as brutally smooth as Sean Connery in Dr No.
Since there’s a handy piece of waste ground on my route, a quick blast around that proved it to be as capable off-road as on. Heavens, I even felt my back end go a couple of times, although it might have been the bike’s. Either way, aspiring Dakar riders will have a blast on it.
Only two minor complaints – after only half an hour, my tender buns were asking politely for a break from that firm, narrow seat, and I kept switching on main beam every time I used the clutch. Same as I had on the RS 660, funnily enough, so I’d like to apologise to every driver in front of me.
So this isn’t a bike for touring on road. It’s for riders who love a blast on the road during the week, and an even bigger blast off-road at weekends.
If that’s you, just sign here.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll just see if I can still remember how to wind a Tuareg headdress.
* Bike supplied by McCrum’s Motorcycles, mccrums.co.uk.
V for Victory
The V4SV, that is – the all-new, all-British beast just launched by Norton and billed as the ultimate British superbike, with a pretty ultimate price tag as well - £44,000.
Built at the company’s multi-million-pound factory in Solihull which I visited last year,
https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/motoring/norton-factory-tour-ceo-interview-25483719
It’s got a carbon fibre fuel tank and bodywork, and is powered by a 1200cc V4 engine producing 185bhp at 12,500rpm.
Norton went bust in February 2020 after a pension scandal involving then CEO Stuart Garner, and was bought by Indian motor giant TVS.
Dr Robert Hentschel, the very impressive CEO appointed by TVS, said: “Two years ago, Norton inherited the V4.
“Thanks to TVS investing £100million in Norton, and us subsequently investing wisely in our engineering processes and brand-new manufacturing base, we have ensured barely a part hasn’t been improved on from the bike we inherited.
“The V4SV is unlike anything on the market today. We are incredibly proud of what we have produced given the challenges we have faced getting it to the start line.
“Importantly, this new Norton V4SV marks just the first step on our exciting vision for the brand.”
Here’s a video overview: https://youtu.be/b-U-LmFO1Wo, and the bike in action at the hands of Steve Plater: https://youtu.be/GbuArArM-No
Electric shock from Norton
In an even more surprising move, Norton has just announced plans to build an electric motorbike within the next 30 months after receiving funding from Advanced Propulsion Centre, a Government initiative aimed at moving the UK towards net zero vehicles.
Six UK partners and academic leaders are supporting the plan to create an electric motorcycle that blends Norton’s design DNA with racing performance, touring range and lightweight handling.
The project, Norton says, will lead to a significant number of jobs locally.
