A husband has spoken out about why he doesn’t help his wife with household chores, such as cooking, cleaning, and taking care of their children.
TikTok user JR Minton shared his explanation in a viral video that had viewers prepared to immediately argue with him in the comments section. “I don’t help my wife cook,” he began the clip.
“I don’t help her clean, do laundry, take care of the kids, none of that because I do what I’m supposed to do as a father and as a husband,” he continued. Viewers were shocked by his next line, not expecting him to say what he claimed was what father and husband was “supposed to do”.
“I cook. I clean. I do the laundry. I take care of the kids. I can’t help my wife do those things because they are my job too. Change the way you speak, change the way you think, and grow the f**k up and be a man,” Minton concluded.
Since it was posted on 28 September, Minton’s TikTok has received more than seven million views with over 15,000 comments. Many commenters explained that if they had hadn’t watched the TikTok video the entire way through, they would have been very upset with his viewpoint. “You had me for a minute there,” one commenter wrote, referring to his line about not helping his wife.
Another commenter agreed, writing: “Deletes paragraph.”
“Went from ‘I BEG YOUR PARDON?’ to ‘Ohh!! What a gentleman,’” a third commenter joked about the tonal shift in Minton’s video.
In an interview with BuzzFeed, Minton said he first decided to make the TikTok after seeing how his wife, Brittany, was treated for being a stay-at-home mom. “I’ve seen her role in the family consistently be undervalued - by friends, family, generally everyone,” he told the outlet. “She is constantly made to feel that she isn’t doing enough, while also made to feel that she should just be eternally grateful to me as the ‘provider.’ It’s completely backward.”
“I may provide money from my work, but she affords me the ability to work. Having a SAHM [stay-at-home-mom] is a privilege for me and the kids, not Brittany. I made the video to switch the narrative. Brittany is my partner, not my employee. I have just as much responsibility to our house and children,” he added.
Other TikTok viewers applauded Minton for taking accountability for his responsibilities. “Yep! My husband and I recognise it’s BOTH our kids and BOTH our house therefore BOTH our responsibility,” one commenter wrote.
Another person agreed in the comments section, writing: “Had to tell my husband to stop saying, ‘… for your mother,’ to the kids. Empty the dishwasher FOR ME? No. Those are everybody’s dishes.”
Minton was so impressed with the positive reception of the video that he posted another TikTok on 14 October, where he wrote a thank you message. “Thank you ALL for all the support over the past few days,” he began.
“I’m truly humbled at how far my message has gone. However, I’d like to take a second to say: I’m not special. I am no unicorn. I am normal. Nothing about my parenting style or my commitment to my wife is unique. Although it may seem out of the ordinary, it is far from extraordinary.”
He continued: “Every husband and father we know (that seems to come up short) is fully capable – yet unwilling. There’s only ONE difference between the men who standout and the men who do the bare minimum… effort.”
The Independent has reached out to Minton for comment.
