In front of 81,000 people, Paul Willemse experienced an identity crisis. He was standing alongside his France teammates, minutes away from making his Test debut against Wales at the Stade de France in February 2019. This should have been a positive experience, but something was not right.
“When I started singing La Marseillaise I knew in that single moment that I had closed the door on my childhood dream,” he says. “I remember feeling overwhelmed with emotion. Even now, thinking about it, I feel overwhelmed by all the conflicting emotions I felt that day.” He was proud, but this was not how he had imagined this moment.
