Born in London, Paul Merson, 54, started his career at Arsenal as an apprentice. He spent 11 seasons with the club, winning the League Championship twice, the FA Cup, the League Cup and the European Cup Winners’ Cup; he went on to play for Middlesbrough, Aston Villa and Portsmouth. He was capped 21 times for England, playing in the 1992 European Championship and the 1998 World Cup. Now a Sky Sports pundit, he is also an ambassador for Recoverlution, an online platform for people in recovery. Married for the third time, he has eight children and lives in London.
When were you happiest?
On holiday in Orlando with my wife, Kate, and kids just before lockdown. I wasn’t drinking or gambling. I was so happy, so at peace with myself – I’d been searching for that for many a year.
What is your greatest fear?
Going back to addiction.
What is your earliest memory?
Going to my nan’s in Dollis Hill on Christmas Day age five. Every Christmas we used to go: I loved that and remember it like it was yesterday.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Impatience.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Bad manners.
What was your most embarrassing moment?
When you jump out of addiction and look back, things like drink-driving and sitting in crack houses are not good.
What is your most treasured possession?
Today.
Aside from a property, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?
Thirty-odd years ago I bought a black pinstripe suit which I thought was £900. But when I went to pay that was just the jacket – the trousers and waistcoat were extra. I didn’t have the balls to put anything back. I dread to think how much it cost me in the end.
Describe yourself in three words
Funny, caring, loving. When I’m not drinking and gambling, I’m that person.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My nose, it’s quite big.
Who is your celebrity crush?
Years ago, I was at the Brit awards and asked Kylie Minogue out. She said no.
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Ben & Jerry’s – the whole tub; that’s the addict in me.
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
Walsall fans. I wanted to be a good manager but I was really bad with drink and gambling at the time. I should have done better.
What does love feel like?
For me, love is working through things when it’s not going well.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Boring people get bored.
If not yourself, who would you most like to be?
All my life I’ve wanted to be someone else and today I don’t want to be anybody but me.
What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
Nothing, because it’s up to me how I feel. I’ve been a millionaire three times and I still wanted to kill myself.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Getting well.
What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
That materialistic things will not make you happy.
Tell us a secret
As they say in AA and GA meetings, secrets will kill you. So I don’t have any.
