EastEnders actress Patsy Palmer has opened up about her past drug addiction, revealing that she chain-smoked cannabis just minutes before she collected her children from school.
Patsy, who played Bianca Jackson in the BBC soap, also said that she would turn up to the set of the BBC soap high on ecstasy and she's "amazed" she survived.
Patsy said it was when she was 32 that she realised that she was a drug addict, writes The Mirror.
The 50-year-old talks about this time in her life in her book All Of Me, Life, Love And Addiction, and said she couldn't stop taking drugs at home in between school runs.
She vowed to never smoke the drug in the house so her kids couldn't smell it. Patsy also said that she was "extra careful" about it as her daughter had chest problems.
She said: "By midday I was stoned. But it was OK because I could eat something and be fine by 3.30pm when I needed to leave before the school run.
"Three hours later I had just finished my third joint and second jam doughnut and I stood in the middle of the room and thought, 'is this what my life has come to?'"
This was the moment when Patsy realised something had to change and the next day, she enrolled herself into the Twelve Step Fellowship programme.
Patsy said that she felt "physically ill, horrible and dirty" after her drug binges.
In her memoir, the mum-of-four told how she would arrive at Albert Square "off her head on drugs".
Patsy now resides in California where she works as a DJ and has her own hair product business, Good & Proper.
Patsy said she is in a good routine now and loves her life in LA. She added: “As soon as I wake up I do 20 minutes’ gratitude meditation, then get out of bed, make a coffee — and convince myself it’s a healthy breakfast because it’s oat milk — then shower and drive Bertie to school.”
Ahead of joining the Dancing On Ice line up, the actress said she went on a yoga and meditation retreat to cleanse her body of negative energy.
She wrote in a social media post: “Be kind to yourself. Clear negative energy . . . we are goddesses."
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